Musings of Life

Is this place still haunted?

2009-01-14T21:47:00.001-06:00

Just checking;)

Planning to be back....

Sometime.......!!

And that's all folks!!

2008-03-25T18:16:00.002-05:00

Well, after 3 years of constant blogging I have finally decided to draw the curtains at 'Musings of Life'
Life has been very kind to me lately.
I am now in a different state of mind altogether. No matter how much I tried, could not get myself to write with that flair with what I used to earlier.
Although, I continue to evolve, blogger does not:P
So with whatever I could share on here I did.
Currently, things are stable, people less annoying and I am basking in the glory of my newly acquired status in life..:)
Not that I wont write ever again..It is just that this wont be the place:)
For all those, who have been with me for this long..A big hug for you..and yeah!! you can still leave comments on this space and if you are anonymously reading this space, feel free to leave your e-mail address, so I can end you the link of my new blog whenever that comes to existence!
Like they say, "When one door of happiness closes, another one's upon up". So now am setting up on discovering new vistas.
It was fun while it lasted.
And hope I linger on your memory atleast for a while if not longer:)

The Kingdom of Hatred

2008-01-03T13:38:00.000-06:00

No matter how much we try, we can never like everyone equally.

Its a different thing that we never even consciously try either.

Each one holds a different place in different compartments of our hearts.

But, can we really HATE someone? As far as I am concerned I either end up liking people or disliking them. In some really rare cases, I generally hold a middle ground wherein, I think its best not to opine. As a human being, we all form certain opinions about people, our friends and people with whom we connect on a general level. And most of the times, the opinions that we form are based on our personal experiences with those people. Sometimes, we judge prematurely without realizing that the way the individual has behaved or behaves is probably because of some prior experiences which make him behave the way he does. In other instances, his behavior might be attributed to his inherent personality such that some kinda innate pleasure is sought by belittling someone.

Well, whatever it is. I believe life is too short for giving someone so much importance. After all "hate" is an extreme behavior and am glad I never have had the experience of disliking someone to such extremes.

People may irritate you, they may annoy you, they may get onto your nerves, but they certainly never deserve to be a recipient of such a negative emotion.

Just like the "Sunscreen" puts it, "Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults":)

I abide by that!!

I-said-I-do

2007-12-27T10:38:00.000-06:00

Finally, it is happening to me:-)

This blog has seen me when I was single, when I ran into some wierd people and some nice people whom I could not marry:P, when I talked about my crushy-days..and today it will see me talk about my "wedding-days":)

Despite considering myself quite a romantic at heart, I somehow never could place that one person who would be with me, tolerate me:P, stay committed to me and marry me!

Guess finally the day has come into being, when I would be marrying that one person who has been there with me through thick and thin for 2 years!!

Much to my surprise and to my happiness. Coz it has happened at a time when I least expected it to. So much so that, many of my friends are yet to know about it. But, I guess for friends who mean well, it does not matter how the news is communicated. So for all my friends to whom I am yet to disclose this, consider this as the most personal form of invitation:-) Hopefully, people would take it at that, and not coz I was being superstitious about 'some buri nazar or crap like that' [Yes, there still some people exist in this century who believe in such notions as I hear]

Finally, the year 2008, won't be left under much speculation. About who-what-where and if's in my life which was always a big "?"for several years now:-)

The ring came a full circle.

The circle of trust.

Present Tense, Past Perfect

2007-12-18T22:46:00.000-06:00

Today, this friend of mine posted some classic advertisments on her orkut profile from the yesteryears.

These included some of the ads that still linger fresh in my mind even after a decade or so.

And some of these had the title song of old teleserials aired on the obsolete Doordarshan.

Yeh Jo Hai Zindagi

Surabhi

Bharat ek Khoj

He Man

Spider Man

Jungle Book

Flop Show

Dekh Bhai Dekh

All in the 80's era..

As I type these names, it takes me back to those pleasant Sunday Mornings. When each week was spent awaiting these teleserials, when every kid used to be glued in front of those TV sets which did not have remote controls:)

I still recollect the time when Ramayan was being aired on TV and people used to think that sakshaat "Ram" bhagwan was in front of us. In fact, it is so funny that my dad got a color TV so that the "bow and arrow" war could be best seen:O

Yep, such were the days. My memory jogs down the fast lane to that Ground Floor flat that I lived in at Kalyan.

All those events come in front of my eyes like a collage.

Me waking up at 7 AM on Sunday to catch up on 'Rangoli' a serial that was telecast to air the 'recent film songs' at that time.

Followed by 'Fairy Tale Theatre" with all the beautiful princesses and awful goblins.

Interspered with reading the newspapers. Especially the Sunday magazine with crossword puzzles, Jumbled words and cartoon strips.

With mom making hot tea and a breakfast of poha, sabudana khichdi, dosa and regular things that now are 'comfort foods' for me:-)

At sharp 9 AM, it would be time for either 'Mahabharat' or 'Ramayan'. 1 hour when there was pin drop silence at our place. When the entire neighborhood would be found in front of the TV.

Then would be time for 'Ducktales', in midst of inviting frowns from my mom who totally got irritated at the duck quacks:D and moreso because all this meant that she would have to chase me and my sister to get a shower:))

At noon, the family would eagerly wait for Bournvita Quiz Contest (in late 90's of course).
The morning TV marathon would then culiminate into leisurely meals. Since both our parents were working, Sunday would be the day where everyone were "at home":)

Afternoon naps, tea time conversations were big!

Evenings would be spent knocking at all the doors of Building # 2, collecting people and going to the Terrace. Never having to worry about calling in for appointments with friends.

After playing all the dumbest kinda games, we would hear the frantic callings from anxious parents wondering what pranks we were upto.

We would go home only past dinner time and inviting stares from mom after we revealed that we just had 2 plates of "Paani Puri" from the 'Bhaiyya' outside the gate:P

Then we would depart to the dreamland with a satisfied tummy, clear conscience and contented mind:)

Those were the days, when life was indeed good. Even now when I look at it, the entire scenes come in from of my eyes as of I just lived those moments few days back. As if they are frozen in time for me to see them with rose tinted glasses. The TV channels might have become thing of past. The programs may have changed. People's idea of fun and family time would have changed. But, the terrace still exists and kids still play and I still retain most of what I cherished at that time.

And somewhere in our hearts we still have that kid, whose eyes light up by seeing some things that bought cheer then:)

After all, "Is rang badaltee duniya mein, kya tera hai kya mera hai" Holds true even now:D

And what a better day, I could ask for..in 2 years of my existence in Blogworld, this post marks the 200th one :)

Ah!! some joys are inexplicable

2007-12-11T12:41:00.000-06:00

Finally, bhagwan ne meree sun lee;)

The ranting from my yesterday's post got answered.

They say big surprises come in small packages. For me, the this small package was in form of a YES from my boss!!!!!

I can finally take 4 weeks off to India:):):):):)

It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness. Poverty and wealth have both failed.
~Frank McKinney "Kin" Hubbard

Exactly, what I feel..A small three letter word can change how you felt yesterday and how you feel today!!

I can finally relax. So much anxiety got quailed in fraction of minutes that I was there!!

Sometimes most of our fears are uncalled for. But we worry anyways. Mentally, I had made plans what to do if he refuses. Some wierd thoughts that creeped my mind were to complain to the Dean of Grad School and what not:P Glad I dint have to do any of those:P:P

Finally,

I need not feel disheartened at not taking time off on Christmas. Or not going to NY or Las Vegas or some cool place. For me, Bombay is coolest of them all:D
I can make a mental list of all the junk food that I wanna eat on streets of Bombay
The thought of playing with my nephew Aryan makes me feel 10 times younger
The lovely feeling of checking out and trying out my sister's clothes
Being able to revel in the presence of cousins and close friends (my only 2 best friends are in India, like I mentioned several months ago in one post)
Will get to visit my alma mater, where a journey of 1000 miles started

Above all, my brain can go on an HOLIDAY too:D

India on my mind

2007-12-10T14:28:00.000-06:00

Its the Holiday season.

Almost everyone that I know have plans.

Not that am regretting not having any, coz in my brief stint in the US of A, I have always been superbusy around the Christmas time:P

For travelling, I have rest of the year but during Christmas time I have "deadlines" to meet:))

Although, I have no grant deadline this year (finally)! I believe the "thought of being able to go to India in Jan" will assure that I will probably be working all of Christmas.

For the moment its just these "thoughts" that make me excited as well as super nervous.

The last trip I made home was in July 2005.

In an "ideal" world, I would have loved to go home every year but since thats a distant possibility, going once every two years should be possible.

But, when was the last time what I planned actually worked out, eh:P

In fact, I think am one of the worst planners one can ever come across.

Everything (almost) that I do is spontaneous. My weekend plannings have been that way and I very rarely book my flight tickets months in advance.

I really am in awe of few people who have their entire vacations chalked out so well:-)

So now, eventhough I deserve one vacation, I have been into a lot of anxiety lately.

Precisely coz of HIM. Every Indian goes through this big agony of breaking the news to his/her boss when it comes to a TRIP TO INDIA!!

For them, its 4 weeks of labour lost. For us it is 2 years of family waiting for us.

For us it is 30 days of pure and joyful moments in 700 days when we dont have to worry about how we look, what time we got up, when we should go to bed. About how we don't have to cook for days in advance. It is about spending time with people who have helped you in realizing your dreams. It is about friends with whom you have nurtured ambitions and whom you have left behind. It is about spending a part of your life with people who matter the most.

Anyway, when it comes to Professional life seldom are people lucky and who would hear their boss say "You have slogged for all this long. Perhaps time for you to rest a bit"

As one gazal goes:

"kabhi kisi ko mukammal jahan nahin milta

kahin zameen to kahin aasman nahin milta"

[Loosely translated, it means none gets best of both the worlds. At times we miss the land and at few other times we miss the sky]

Guess, am atleast lucky that I am quite at peace with my personal life which gives me immense strength to handle the stressful profession that I chose.

For the moment, let me just bolster my morale and shoot the question to him:-)

Interwined Relationships

2007-12-03T11:28:00.000-06:00

Richard Bach, once said "Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over"

What exactly is this control like?

And precisely whom and what things in life can one control?

I have always been pretty much amazed at what Bach always quotes, for e.g this one particular cliched quote that pretty much everyone has heard once in their life time "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.”

Do we always do this or are we capable of doing this?

For example: If we cannot control what we feel or how we feel for a certain someone. What is the role of 'committments' in our lives?

Lets consider the various kinds of relationship that one comes across:- All these are purely my views and how I view them through my glasses:)

1. The "dating" couple: Couple who are 'exploring' the possibility of being together. The first few days/weeks/months when every thing is hunky dory. When a ringing phone bell/door bells sends butterflies in the stomach. When every moment of together is like *fairytale* [Haha, so what I have been told].

2. The 'seeing-each-other' couple: Am serious, I have heard all these terms before. Although, I dont know what exactly the difference is between the above mentioned phase and this phase. But, an American friend of mine told me that the difference is that when you are 'seeing' someone you are know seeing him/her exclusively (*rolls my eyes*). Ya! maybe but I consrue this as a phase when you know that there might be a possibility of something serious developing between the people involved.

3. The "serious" couple- Now, here's a phase when you have been with that same person for a while. When security takes over a whole lot of insecurities. Couple who love spending time with each other and who also *start* discussing *marriage*;)..Haha most of them, in my opinion go back to the Stage 1 at this point:))

4. The 'Committed' couple- A truly "happy" couple, who have been together for a long time. Have been through several ups and downs in life, weathered storms together and are together for a reason. For whom the fairy tale romance has ended and who finally start believing that life and relationships go beyond wine, champaign, candle-light dinners and also start to find faults in each other;)

5. The "ever-after" couple - This I believe is the culmination of a long standing romance. No matter how much together you are with someone. No matter how long a duration you have romanced with someone. If it doesn't reach this step, it probably was never meant to be. I may sound quite narrow minded in my thinking here. People say that marriage is not everything. But, I certainly am of the opinion that, relationships come with a responsibility. A feeling of belongingness. To be with someone you can annoy for the rest of your life:D And to come back to a home and a person who promises to be there with you through thick n thin:) After all committments are everything in life!!!

Every relationship evolves. People change for good. People change for better. Situations are never the same and the way we view relationships also change with the passage of time.

Read this quote somewhere "Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away"!

The Thoda Aur Chalega Tag!

2007-10-18T12:54:00.000-05:00

Alright, after being on this blogsphere for more than 2 years and having being 'tagged' for several things in the past, I realized I am not being tagged anymore!

None's fault..not being on this circuit was purely my choice!

Anyways, I was bloghopping to someone of my friend's blogs and found this utterly cool and 'thoda hatke' tag on 'Phoenix''s blog...

So eventhough she did not tag me, I decided to do it:D

The rules are simple

Okay, this is one tag I think is really interesting to do. Maybe because it tells you how greedy you really are, inspite of howmuchever of a saint you think you are! It's called "Thoda aur chalega". The rules are simple. You got to write five things that you do have and are quite fond of/proud of because they really are good/feel-good (at least in your own perspective). These things can be anything...qualities, people, pets, clothes, goodies etc. Then you have to add one adjective to each, indicating what else you'd wish (dream, fantasise etc.) these things to also have. Like the extra free chocolate topping on a five scoop hot chocolate fudge with nuts, chocolate sauce, raisins etc. An example could be: My super cool super fast car....I wish I had a red-coloured super cool super fast car.

So my greed list goes...[Hell its OK to be greedy sometimes]:P

1. Aryan - My 5 year old nephew. My only nephew and my kid:P . I wish he was with me in the US:(

2. My ability to trust - Very proud to possess this quality. I do believe in what my friends say. But, sometimes I trust to the extent of being gullible and fooled. Wish, I learnt to trust the RIGHT persons!

3. My sensitive nature - I wish I was sensitive in the right dose:P

4. My Tolerance - I may get impatient many a times. But, I wish I learnt to put my foot down sometimes.

5. My Education- I cannot imagine doing something different. But, I wish my degree came easy and short time:P

Buss itna sa khwab hai

2007-10-17T11:29:00.000-05:00

I have been thinking! Yes, we all do..but I have been thinking about ‘Ambitions’

The Dictionary definition of ‘Ambition’ is “An eager or strong desire to achieve something, such as fame or power”

So does that mean that people who do not have the desire to achieve “fame” or ‘Power” are NOT ambitious?

Well, eitherway..wish there was one definition that fit all!!

In my case, I would rather expand my horizons and compare myself against what I previously was, as a measure to see how well I am doing in life.

I do not have the constant desire to compare myself with a fellow colleague to see whether am successful or not.

One may argue that people who have been ‘successful’ are precisely so because they have been ‘ambitious’. So does that confine oneself only to Professional life? What about ‘Personal’ ambitions?

Coz most of the time, to excel in one field one has to compromise in other aspects of life. As they say, ‘One cannot have the cake and eat it too’

I have seen in the scientific world, in atleast 10 of the scientists I have met are either divorced or are unhappy in their lives. They are constantly under pressure to excel. They have a constant desire to compare people and in that attempt they belittle their image, making many of us wonder ‘Is this what we are born for?, ‘Is this why we strive so much in life for’, ‘What exactly is the essence of life’?

“Having a great profession or having a great family?”
Lucky and rare are those who enjoy satisfaction on both the fronts!

Leaving that apart, is there any age limit for being ambitious?

Would it infer that if you turn 55, you are supposed to be contended with what life has offered you and slow down a bit? As a teenager, I remember my parents telling me and my sister ‘Once we get both of you married, we shall retire to a small town away from the city and offer services to God’. This my mother used to tell when she was in her 40’s!

Similarly, I met a person who is 52 years of age, having 3 children who is pursuing his dreams even now! And I believe he will continue to do so until he hits the grave. Coz this person has confessed to not having rested for 20 freaking years of his life!!!!!!!

This person has reconfirmed my belief that life is not worth so much!
The punch line of ‘Bunty and Babli’ movie tells the exact same thing “Kuch log saree zindagi ek hi kaam karte hain. Aur kuch logon ke liye ek zindagi kam pad jatee hai, bahut kuch karne ke liye’

What is the point of being so busy that you do not go for vacations.
What is the point of being so involved with one thing that everything else ceases to impress you anymore?
What is the point of being so ambitious that you forget the basic of things that give you happiness in life, go out of the window?

I may fit either one or more of these criteria, but as another saying goes “When you think you can’t take it anymore, you will ANYWAY’

Of Geographical Escalations!

2007-08-21T11:33:00.000-05:00

So now that I am in Cleveland, I am faced with a typical question.

'So where did you move from'

I reply 'Omaha, Nebraska'

Invitating few stares and few sympathies...

'I am sure you are in much better place NOW'

Wonder what exactly denotes 'better' [but let me get at it sometime later]:P

'So where exactly is Omaha"?

I feel like saying "Go to goggle.com and SEARCH. Better still take a look at the map of USA and you would know where even Vermont, Maine and Alaska are!!!!

But being me...I reply 'If you look at the map of USA, you shall find that Nebraska is right in the middle. The 'Heartland of America'!!!

Ohhh Ok!!! The few who even have an idea of geography, retort 'What did you do in Nebraska, apart from eating corns"?

Whoosh!!! well, how opinionated can one be!

Quite coyly I reply "Ya! trying to get my PhD' you see..'I have better things to do'

"So have you experienced snow before?"

Omaha is just 12 hours by road from Cleveland, you see..so the geographical conditions are not going to differ that much:P

"Alright!! I thought it is some kind of a desert"

NOW! someone indeeed can get on your nerves right?

To scare me further, wait until winter hits you in Cleveland!

Ever since, I disclosed my future 'home' to people, I have been persistently hearing about the cold winters.

Cleveland is located on the Lake Erie..[one of the great lakes]

So there is some phenomenon called as 'Lake effect' And let me not get into the details of it..but the end result is heaps and heaps of snow that falls and STAYS! for as long as winter lasts!!

NOW, having started from rock bottom of the country, Lousiana (which is way down in the south), life took me to right in the middle of the country (Nebraska ) and now to somewhere on the top (Cleveland).!!I hope now I dont land up way up..that is Alaska:P

Hahah!! if only we could correlate geographical escalations to academic escalations:(

In life, sometimes, I hit the rockbottom, sometimes on the top..but I am contended staying in the middle..Thats why, Nebraska will always remain in my heart (right in the middle)!!

:)

Nayee hai manzilen..naye hain raaste!

2007-08-15T15:45:00.000-05:00

They say, when life offers you lemons, make lemonade!
Guess, my life is offering me lemons of all sizes..
Some sweet and some sour;)
Anyway, instead of beating around the bush..let me get around the topic.
So, I wanted to say..Err! Don’t remember..
I just wanted to say ‘hi’ to all those people

Who remembered that I existed
Whose association was not limited ONLY to my blogs
Who checked on me even though my blog lay dead for months
To all those who will stop by this place eventhough the last post was made nearly 6 months back
To all those who asked me ‘Don’t you care about your blog?Its dying’
And finally, to all those who have been there for me in what I would say one of the toughest phases of a PhD students life!

For all those, who don’t fall into any of the categories above—err!!
Raysofsun comes from a brand new place..Cleveland, Ohio! [ab kab kaise aur kahan, yeh batane ke liye bahut kuch rewind karna padega]:P

With this, I mark my entry into blogosphere and give your memory cells a tickle to refresh it:)

!!!HAPPY INDEPENDANCE DAY EVERYONE!!!!

And if you happen to post comments on this blog, I only have to say 'I love you'..coz you never gave up on me:)

The million dollar question

2007-04-09T22:38:00.000-05:00

Tring Tring!
My phone rang for the 8th time on this lazy sunday.
I reached my phone, flipped it open, reached for the END button.

This has been my routine for past several weeks. Although, none of those calls are from some hyper uncles and aunties asking me to get married.

All those calls are from some of my long time friends, some acquaintances, and some newly introduced people.

There were times when I would chalk out a schedule, whom to call and when to call XYZ. When I would get agitated if a friend dint call me for several days in a row.

I still maintain that I am quite social and not a recluse. I still get out with some buddies for dinner/lunch/coffee but I mingle with selected people amongst whom I can breathe..

And most of those phone calls are from fellow graduate studemt friends..one who says 'Yes..I am writing my thesis. Boss asked me to defend in July. Looking for jobs'

The other says 'Yeah..close to finishing up'

Yet another friend 'Zee' who came along with me to this country says 'I just attended an interview at Yada Yada university in Timbaktoo..I am hopeful I will land up with that one'

Then comes the questionnnnn 'Sooooo...how close are you on getting your PhD'?

There is no avoidance to that one. The inevitable always happens.

My answer sounds like a broken record 'Ya..I am working on my Qualifyin exam. My boss just moved. I will move with him too. I have to yet publish"

So much so that, I myself have gotten sick and tired of my own answers. They all have good intentions. But some questions do hurt when you yourself are clueless about the ongoings of your own life. When you yourself are not the only one to decide the course of your life. When there can be several alternatives to one problem.

When life just does not give you an answer in a YES or a NO!

A lot left unsaid

2007-02-21T23:31:00.000-06:00

It was one of those quite wednesdays when I felt extremely hard to comprehend my thoughts. Hence could not find anyone with whom I can share all that I wish and want, hence I automatically logged on to blogger, only to realize even blogger has changed, eh:)

It says 'Switch to the new blogger' albeit I still have to figure out whats new in this:D

Today, I missed all of those buddies here (on blogger) who calmly listened to all my whinings patiently and offered a word of advise or two or whined with me together:(

I dont understand, what I was doing in the past 3 months since I last made that post, sharing my happiness with all of you:) and spending the better part of my youth behind closed doors of my laboratory..ughh

Besides, worrying about what the future beholds...

Its that when, I went back to 'SUNSCREEN' which acts as a therapeutic for me, each time I am low..I read some of its lines to me for the 'n'th time today...

"Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday."

Maybe its true, nevertheless, I worry anyways..:

As I sit back on my couch typing this, all I see is the dawn of March 1...No..! I aint getting married or anything:P

But, it marks the first step I will be making towards the aisle...[Again I am not talking about walking down the 'wedding aisle':P] but the aisle which I dreamt to walk on since I joined my PhD program!

I wont get into the tchnical jargon of it, but only to say that, thats one day which holds the key to my future!

Two paths exist from there...either I be succesful or I be doomed...:O but in certain things of life the second options JUST do not exist!!! and in either ways, thats not the end of world...........

On the lighter side, Orkut has just been too good for me!!

I cannot believe the number of people I met whom I assumed to have disappeared from the face of earth!

One friend who dropped me a message 'Hi! do you remember me? We used to meet in Mumbai Locals' [yeay!aisa bhi hota hai..Yeh hai Bambai Nagariya]:)

Just last week, I had a friend from my 11th grade (back in 1995) visiting me after 12 long years!!!!

Thats precisely what the SUNSCREEN says as well

"Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young"

Not many people, bother keeping in touch with friends from high school..and maybe our lives gets the better of us..but I have indeed been forunate of not letting friendships be a function of time and distance:)

And I am glad that of all the people that I could have been, I have made an excellent choice:P

Hope you guys still check out this space, and I promise to be a part of your worlds too:)

Mission Accomplished!

2006-11-22T20:12:00.000-06:00

Hola Guys! Is anyone still reading me??

Neways, I am back with some flowery news;)

Well, I finally got the fellowship that I was working on for 18 damn months!!!!

If you have hung out at this place earlier, you would know how much that means to me!
For reference, check these earlier blogs...:))

http://starsandsun.blogspot.com/2006/01/new-day-new-year-and-new-life.html
http://starsandsun.blogspot.com/2006/01/hours-before-sunrise.html
http://starsandsun.blogspot.com/2006/01/sleep-beckons.html

I finally am relieved that I will be richer by a few hundred dollars every month;) HAHA

Reminds me of the song 'Woh Lamhein, woh baatein, thee kaisee raatein'

Above all, the moments that made me speculate whether I could ever think 'logically' were all rested..well, for a few days actually;))
But never mind, let me just bask in the glory of success..for just one day:D

On the other side, two of my closest pals graduated with a PHD..Ah! how the feeling is!!

Seeing thier faces, it makes me hopeful that at the end it must be all worth the pain and tears.

Anyways, lets not get there for the time being:))

Milte hain, next post mein..[Hopefully soon]
:)

Globetrotting

2006-10-30T19:33:00.000-06:00

I know its a long long time!

And guys, am alive n kicking..so to speak:)

Cant say am THAT busy so as to no scribble a word or two but, I dont get profound thoughts everyday.

A LOT has curtailed since Sept 29th since I last made that post:)

Firstly, my blog turned 1 ALREADY on October 8th! Would not have remembered it unless Thanu told me. Both of our blogs are twin siblings:))

Time and time I am reminded of the old adage that says " The only thing constant is Change"

I believe I was born with that fortune of moving to places and constantly adapting to people, places and circumstances.

Maybe I am not just the one. Yet to meet someone who shares a similar (mis)fortune.

Started off from a small suburb of Bombay from where I moved first to go to Shreveport. Destiny brought me to Omaha, where I made my second home. Met great people. Had some bad experiences. But I sustained, rather still sustaining.

And I swore come what may, I am going to fly from this place with a degree. Come what the hurdle, I am going to bear it all.

Then came the news that my advisor accepted a faculty position at Cleveland, Ohio. Which is where the 'wheel of fortune' takes me. I bet this is going to delay my already-delayed PhD.

This too happens when I finish my qualifying exam before december of THIS YEAR.

This is one of the most dauntic tasks I have ever faced.

Overwhelmed-I am

Confused-Yes, I am

I have stopped asking the question 'Why me'..it somehow doesnt help the process.

Have seen a lot of transformation within myself, yet to see a lot more.

Life and something like that..is all I conclude!

Little bit of this and that

2006-09-29T16:37:00.000-05:00

Rules of this tag:
Name the person who tagged you.
8 things about you.
Tag 6 people

I believe after writing this, and 20 things about myself, again writing 6 things about myself seems quite an ordeal. Nevertheless, this is one tag after a long time and one post after a long time. I am glad Thanu tagged me, which only proves that people have not yet given up on 'Musings of Life'

Ha!

So here goes:

Based on few things that I have been happening to me, lately..

1. When I think of a new place and a possible move, the only thing that matters to me about whether I would like to live in that place or not, is determined by these few things (not in particular order)

Whether there is an Indian store
Whether there is a temple
Whether I would be able to manage to get to any of these places without having to drive on the Interstate:D

2. I get attached to places and people, quickly

3. I miss not having a single childhood picture taken with my mom, dad and sister, together!

4. Even at the age of 26, I cry when being scolded

5. I possess what I call as 'Disguised optimism'. Which means, I might sound pessimist, when things dont work, I might even contemplate 'leaving it midway' but somehow, believe that' quitting is not an option'

6. I wear a gold chain in my neck given to me by mom since my 10th grade. If I have to wear a necklace, I wear it on top of that, but never remove it from my neck. Coz in my experience, whenever I have done so, I have feared losing it. That remains my most priced possession till date:-)

Time After Time!

2006-09-20T19:12:00.000-05:00

What do they say about 'Impressions'?

First impressions are the last, right?

Or whether, impressions are a function of time?

I somehow never understood this completely.

I know the case of a certain someone who is just like all of us. Works as hard as anyone. Tries to do the right thing. But, either there is some problem within him or by some unknown reason, there is always a misfit.

He is fiesty and holds strong, but now he is losing the grip. The once pursued as a person of an above average IQ and a very high EQ, is now at the nadir of 'self esteem'

Like in a recent movie 'Angrez' that I saw, where the protogonist says 'There are certain things in life, that you just can't fix. You have to leave it to time'

BUT, the question remains, how much time does 'TIME'actually take?

And what does 'TIME' do all this 'TIME' when the person's intellect is questioned?

And whether all this, is it even worth all the 'TIME' n 'EFFORT'?

The impression that he has left behind is probably never going to get erased from the other's mind.

Sometimes, I hope 'Impressions' dont turn out to be 'Everlasting', coz in that case, people would never get a second chance!

To say goodbye to you

2006-08-29T19:30:00.000-05:00

Since my childhood, we had this peculiar tradition of saying good-byes.

Basically, I lived in the ground floor and both my parents were office-goers, who worked in shifts to take care of me and sis.

So whenever me and tai went to school, mom/ dad would stand at the deck of our balcony and wave their hands. The balcony was visible even from a gate where we waited for our school bus. Making sure that we got into the school bus safely.

And this would continue until we were no longer visible.

The same would hold true for me. I used to sit in the kitchen window and scream 'Mummyyy!!!! byeeeeee...gharee lavkar yeeeeeeee" (meaning: Mom Bye. Come home soon.) [In a shrill voice. When every one in the colony came to know what shift ROS' mom worked;)]

Yesterday, I went to one of friend's house for lunch. She lives on the first floor. As I started walking back to lab from her house, I just turned around to take a look at the window.

But there was none who watched where I went!

And I smiled at myself..Habits die hard.

Dont know why, I believe this was the first time I ever looked at an empty window:(

What I have been upto

2006-08-16T11:51:00.000-05:00

Haha! I have been disconnected from blogging fr a while now. For some reason, I did not reply to my previous posts. But did not want to do that just for the heck of it:) Sorry all of you, for not replying:(

Even now, as I type this..I do not know where my thoughts waver.
Caution: This must be utterly boring for some:D

Guess this is what happens when:-

You have lots of stuff going on that you are not able to sum them all up
You have a life of a frog that is confined to the well
You are spending most of your free evenings watching Bolly wood stuff for free on Youtube
You get so addicted to experimentation that even while you are in the kitchen, you are experimenting

Well, in all my life has been not too perfect..but close to being perfect. Got to spend time with loved ones, with friends, with family and realizing that no matter how many hard days at work, these are the people who will brush your blues away!

I have been confused, lost at the same time! That makes me sometimes question "Why is that things work for everyone else BUT for me'. But there are no answers to rhetoric questions.

When the two questions that irritates me include: 'When do you graduate'? 'When are you getting married'

Ok! just get the fact straight. I am not being a 'load' on anyone. My family doesnt mind my independence and my advisor would still wish for me to be around:) Agreed my friends have started to plan their second babies, BUT thats not what I want out of my life at this moment!

Probably they are normal people, and I am not! I had never planned the course of my life, and even now..I dont know what lies in the future!

Neways thats my ranting. And there was nothing new about it, so did not choose to blog that!

Otherwise, I have been cooking all types of cuisine including:

South Indian:- Thanks to Thanu, I mastered the art of making masala dosas from scratch. fermenting included. It gave me a lot of pleasure, to prepare the perfect 'udipi' meal, comprising of Sambar, chutney as well. It took me back to the time when I was in 4th grade and my dad used to teach me holding my hands, how to put the batter on the griddle to make round dosas. To the times, when Sunday brunch was all this and more and my constant cribbing that I want to eat something different. How we evolve!
Chinese Hakka Noodles n fried rice.
North Indian: Both my favourite paneer dishes, Paneer Butter Masala, Alu Parathas and Tandoori Paneer.
Typical Marathi Cuisine: Sol kadhi, Poli (another name for rotis), sprouts, kheer

All of these were instant hits and am glad my experiments atleast work in the kitchen:D

Some of the mis-hits included:-

Simple Vanilla Cake:- This was a recipe that I REALLY wanted to try! Found this wonderful recipe here. Well, there was quite a story behind making that cake. First, I knew I did not have baking soda at home, so shopped for that. Came home and the recipe asked for baking powder as well, and since I was hell bent on making the cake that evening itself, I was googling whether I can do without the baking powder. In turn, I ended up reading a lot about cakes on wike and other related websites and importance of the ingredients:))

Next, I ended up making the cake which tasted little bit bitter and I emailed Shammi mentioning that to her. And just today, I realized that the 'imitation vanilla essence' that I had used is in fact a petroleum by product:O

Considering all the efforts that I had put in..this was certainly unwelcome!

Neways, just like always 'Your end results are sometimes not a function of the efforts' which has proven to be true for me in many instances!

Bollywood Masala!

Ended up watching way too many movies lately:

Of the things I remember:

Golmaal:- Golmaal 2006 is no where close to Amol Palekar's classic comedy released in 1979. It does not even do justice to the name! The comedy cloyed and at times I really wanted to slap Tushar Kapoor! Sharman Joshi was someone who was pretty decent. The story was the usual crap, 3-4 men chasing one girl who probably has nothing else to do but to look pretty! Paresh Rawal is completely wasted.

Chup Chupke: Aha! just came across this movie while browsing. And really liked it better than Golmaal. Paresh Rawal rocks in this one along with Rajpal Yadav! Excellent comedy. What more Kareena Kapoor is shown 'mute' in this film. This actually helps, since she looks pretty and is not irritating:)

Yun Hota To Kya Hota: This one movie was off beat with Naseeruddin Shah's directorial debut. A movie to which one can relate to. 4 stories running parallely and all of them have one goal , 'To get to the US, by hook or crook' and this is the most realstic situation in todays world;) Althoughm the story has an abrupt ending, I am not sure..if many of the real life stories do have a concusion at all:) With actors such as Konkona Sen and Irrfan Khan, the movie does carry some substance!

Omkara: Not many girls would like this movie (coz all the other 4 girls who came to watch this movie with us did not). But I liked this one too. Not much to say about this Othello remake but the fact that Saif Ali rocks:)

Apart from that, watched Adam Sandler flick 'Click'

Hilarious, with a message! Loved the punch line that says 'Good Guys Take a Break'

=))

Well, anyways life is not bollywood.Haha.

Fragrance that lingers!

2006-07-27T15:19:00.000-05:00

Every home as some memory attached to plants and flowers!

We had a 'Hibiscus' plant that my mom had planted when she moved into our house first day after my parents had got married in 1976.

So that plant was an quintessentially a 'senior' in my house, much earlier than even me and sis were born.

Mom used to water it carefully, prune it and when a flower bloomed, she would offer it to Lord. Ganesh. Ganpati is usually offered red colored flowers and it is said that hibiscus (jaswand) in marathi is his favourite flower:)

She would use the leaves to make make some oil mixture which was supposed to make your hair even darker!

Then we had this flower 'Sayli' that was pink in color. The meaning of 'sayli' is 'delicate'
Truly, the flower was so pretty that one would never want to remove it from the plant.

We also had some 'button roses' planted. But, it was too hectic to take care of it. Didi and mom used to regularly add fertilizers but they since we lived on the ground floor, probably they did not get exposed to whole lot of sunlight. When one plant died, mom never planted any other rose plants.

My dad used to always bring flowers for mom whenever he came from work. He would get three 'gajras' for my mom, sis and myself. They both loved wearing those flowers. I would somehow not like it, coz I always wore skirts or frocks (of corz when I was a kid) and wearing a gajra on skirt..was errr..too 'vernacular' and I still think so:)

They looked gorgeous on salwar kurtas and sarees!!

I would never understand what was the need for him to get it like everyday. After all after the fragrance goes off, its waste! [So what I thought]. But then as I grew up I realized that mom would in fact wait eagerly to see which flower my dad had bought for her [he always got white flowers: Mogra, Chameli, Juhi ]

Although, I agree I love the fragrance of these flowers and I bet these flowers are much more romantic than a boquet full of roses!

I remember, whenever we went to Dadar ( a town in Mumbai), she bought packets of these 'white flowers' from the huge 'Phool market'.

She used to even make 'gajras' and distribute it to her friends and building walas:)

Weaving those was indeed nice, so what I thought. So I learned to weave it too. And even now, I have not forgotten it.

Wonder what it is about flowers, which has a 'feel-good'factor associated with it.

So why was I tempted to write about this!

Yesterday, I was walking across the street when I saw thic 'cute chinese couple' walking hand in hand. The girl stopped and took a look at a small white flower growing on a plant. Of course, I did not understand what they both said.

But, the next instant, the guy took one tiny flower from the tree and put it on her EARS. Of course coz her hair was straight wth no clips or bands to hold her hair;) But the expression on the girl's face was PRICELESS!!

As said by Albert Schweitze, " In the hope of reaching the moonmen fail to see the flowersthat blossom at their feet"

How long has it been that you have 'smelled' the roses?:)

Thats my friend!

2006-07-24T02:54:00.000-05:00

I was watching Dil Chahta Hai for the nth time.

The cameraderie between Sid, Sameer and Akash is a treat. In the initial stages you kinda think "Is this for real"?

And then as we get invloved in their 'picture-perfect'lives we realize that their lives is just like ours. Full of fun, playful bantering, damage act and finally damage-control.

Thats life. Thats the life of friends.

No friendship is complete without the usual arguments and bantering. Some times its playful and sometimes the play gets farstretched!

Akash who is always the playful, flirty self, who believes that he can get away with anything without anybody getting back at him. Sameer, the confused and 'regular' guy!Sid (Akshaye) who is usually the calm composed of the lot and idealistic. All the three different yet pals. After all people need not be smiliar in order to be friends!

Until one day, Akash steps on that spot in his sensitive heart that their friendship nearly comes to a standstill. And each one moving his own way.

Sid confesses about his love for Tara, who is 10 years older than him to his friends Akash and Sameer. When Akash playfully mentions "Tere se umar mein badi hai. Experience bhi hai. Ash kar le' [Not sure of the exact lines. But something on similar lines.]

Acc to Akash, that was a 'harmless'comment. And he so did not anticipate being hit by the calm Sid. But what Sid says is something that justifies the whole act "Akash, dosti mein bhi ek hudd (limit) hotee hain. Jise humein kabhi paar nahi karnee chahiye'

This is something that every Akash needs to be reminded of. Although, friends need not be judged but they do not realize that they know where it hurts the most!

We all believe that friends absorb everything and sometimes forgive too. Akash had crossed that limit the moment he uttered that sentence!

Sometimes its one word, some times its one sentence and sometimes its a bundle of events that leads to 'break-up'between friends!

Later, due to circumstances they drift apart and then reunite towards the end!

But life is not Bollywood:) [For some people] and things sometimes go wrong and we never resort to blame games and the only attempt that people do is to 'communicate and resolve' but just like a clothes which get torn, and even after you try to mend it..the cut is still visible!

I do believe that it lies with each person invloved into making a relationship that how much he is willing to bend and let go off the dust from the shoulders in order to make it work! And it is never a one way traffic! Two people need to 'believe' in a relationship in order to take that 'step'

To accept that differences exist in realtionships and that one friend need not 'approve' of the others ways!
Like, after the title track when all the three guys are sitting on the edge and gazing at the ships in water. When one of them says 'Ek din shayad hum bhi apne apne raaste nikal jaayenge'[Again, I do not remeber the exact lines. Not that I care]..True enuf, its quite possible that in midst of 'oceans of friends' who will stick with you, who will be there 'just around the corner..Like how it happens in the last scene when Sameer says to Akash "Kahan hai tu.. kab mil sakta hai" and Aakash says "Aaj, abhi, isi waqt .. just turn around "

That is what a friend is to me! One who would not question, why you have hurt and who is to be blamed. But one, who irrespective of what has happened in the past, respects the friend who made the move and assures of his ubiquitous presence!

[P.S:-The views expresses hereof are purely mine and what my beleif is]:)

Summer of yesteryears

2006-07-19T15:39:00.000-05:00

It was hot that sunday afternoon! 105 F to be precise!
Sultry as hell..and sweaty in Omaha!

I am a hot coffee person always. But that day, I was tempted to try a new drink by 'Starbucks' called as "Tangerine Fruit Blend". It was OK. Though it tasted good, it was full of ICE SLUSH!

That just anesthesizes your nerve!

Then me and Wolf were talking about how many different kinds of simple yet exotic drinks we got back in India.

Ideally, the summer coolers!

Mumbai, with its hot and humid climate offered a vivid range of 'bhaiiyas'always ready to provide the tired due to sweat office n school goers with some refreshing drink!

Few which were the top in my list include:

Gola: Dont know the other slang for this. But this was a ice candy stick dipped in sherbets such as orange, kala khatta, some red sharbat!! topped with rock salt and lemon..WOW! With the bhaiiyas sweat included..it tasted yummiee..(OK! that was gross:D)

Secondly, Mango Lassi: ROYAL drink and none can ever match the taste of 'Alphonso mango'. I recollect: One of my friends was coming back from India and carried some alphonso mangoes in his suitcase while coming back to US. Although its illegal (I suppose) but he managed to. The customs people asked him what it was. He said they were 'raw mangoes' and when he finally opens the suitcase, 4 mangoes were misssing!!!! That shows even US people love to eat INDIAN mangoes.So what if they were illegally bought!!!!

Nimbu Juice: The drink of the poor. Affordable and a thirst quencher. Topped with salt and freshly squeezed!! Im sure Lemonade mein woh baat kahan:))

Jaljira:Made out of cumin, lemom juice, mint, rock salt! Totally cool!!
Then comes this Raw Mango juice called as "Panha" in marathi. This recipe is summed up here. One drink that I used to wait for my mom to make and I would finish it off in less than a week!!!

Lastly, Falooda: Man..that huge glass was always filling. With some strawberry essence, icecream, and some vermicelli..and god knows what all. But, it tasted divine!

Those were the summers of India. Hot yet special in its own way. Although USA has a blend of fruit juice and Frappucinos to boast about, these refreshing drinks will hold a special place forever!

Vegetable medley

2006-07-12T20:38:00.000-05:00

I have been trying to make this commmon Mumbai Street Food (Pav Bhaji) for so long!!!!!

I have always been lucky to find friends who make it awesomely well and I never had to bother to make it at all:))

But, suddenly I got this wierd craving and as I drove back home after a tiring completion of a deadline..I was suddenly excited on having friends over and treating them to pav-bhaji.

I recalled: Yes, I have Onions, Capsicum, Caulfilower (which I had bought last wk to make Gobi Manchurian) but Sigh! for all the grilling that I went through..Mera hi manchurian bann gaya..:))

Yep..I had carrots too (which I had got to make carrot halwa) ha..but lets not get there either:))

I had green peas and french beans too..

What else..what else...

Ya right...I need some 'Pav'(bread) as well..
So I stopped at a grocery store on my way: Picked up two packets of Buns, some tomatoes. Some really fresh Cilantro (coriander) . There is nothing that smells as good as fresh cilantro...:))And I was on my way back..

I decided to take a nap..and then at 7:00 PM..I called up two of my buddies..

"hey..whats up?? Me making Pav-bhaji..Tujhe aaneka hai kya??'

So there is this saying in marathi..that goes "Je je fukat..te te paushtik" [which means"What ever is free..is healthy"]

Ha! and my friends here believe in this adage quite strongly.

They agreed to join me!

I started to cut mah veggies and put them in pressure cooker.

Then came the time to chop in potatoes as well!!!!!

I looked in the same place in a small shelf where I usually stock in my onions and potatoes. And I realized that there were no potatoes!

THERE WERE NO POTATOES:O

I mean...its very rare for me to not have potatoes at home!

I mean..isnt potato the most veratile veggie ever?? I especially love potatoes in any form, shape and size!!!

Well, I dont mean anything here..except for the fact that sometimes we take the availability of some of the things for granted!

Some things or like in my case..potatoes. Which I knew..I will have it in my kitchen. So much so that..even the thought of buying it never crossed my mind. And I had to stay without making pav-bhaji:(

Coz a day comes when You just CANNOT do with your 'easily available' veggie:)

Blowing my top off!

2006-07-11T22:48:00.000-05:00

This is going to be a hardcore rant! So if you people are here for a good read, please exit the browser now!

I walk in to my office, get myself a cup of coffee and start working on my computer. An hour later, I checked Google News and to my utter shock saw an article about 8 Mumbai blasts! My eyes popped out and I wanted to make sure this was for real. So I clicked on each and every link I could find and read about what happened for two hours straight!

Finally after I thought I had enough information, I started getting angry. I was freakin' pissed at what had happened. First of all, I'll state the obvious - innocent people were killed and injured. Secondly, what was the Indian govt's initial reaction? "We are calling a 'high-level' meeting which will be attended by the Home Minister, CM of Maharashtra, the Railway Minister and others" said the PM. OK so what exactly is a 'high-level' meeting? You will see. A couple of hours after the 'meeting' the PM makes an announcement to the media. He says "Indians are a peace loving set of people and I am sure people will not take law into their hands and solve this issue peacefully". What the hell is wrong with this dude? Just because we have been silent all these years, these goddamn terrorists keep attacking our cities. You have to fight fire with fire! Why does India boast of their vast military if they don't wanna use it? What purpose does it serve? If blasts rock Indian cities, there should be a counter attack on terrorist camps. Blow them apart. Convey a stronger message.

And after the blasts, the railway minister announces that he is going to make a trip to Mumbai. What the hell is going to do there? The dead sure don't want to see him. Why would the injured want to? If he is so concerned, coordinate relief efforts and spend that first class air ticket money on the relief efforts, whatever negligible amount it may sound to you! Get people to hospitals! Rush them to hospitals!

This is just a portion of the rant I wanted to type out. I know it's not going to serve any purpose. And yeah, this is not ROS writing. This is her friend Vikram Kulkarni and I forgot my password to my blogger account so I borrowed her password. That's another thing, I hope Blogger dies!! I have been emailing them to send me my password since morning! They still haven't done that.

OK... message to the PM of India... please retaliate now!!! let's not be sitting ducks anymore!!! it's high time they got a taste of their medicine!!!

Whats goin on??

2006-07-08T11:55:00.000-05:00

I dint have anything on my mind for a blogpost and its not even going to be a post I guess.

Just one of those days, when feel like writing something. Be it any thought..happiness, sadness, pain, joy. Just something to unleash..

There have been people asking me what I did for the 'supposed' long weekend! Hold and behold..I have no clue that we even had a long weekend!

I wasn't excited about being with friends on my birthday. Although, I could have managed to get some time off to atleast go for a dessert. There were fireworks on 4th of july. I was satisfied by merely looking at a few crackers that were being bursted from my balcony. I did not even go close to a mall to check on the 4th if july sales.

I have surprised myself several times in these few days. Surpised at my own thinking, my own confusion, my own direction in life.

Sometimes, its good to look at the 'lighter'side of life..thats why PhD comics helps me bring a smile on my face. Maybe somewhere someone went/is going through what I am right now.
Probably, I have just had too much of 'America'

Gifts gifts gifts

2006-07-04T22:09:00.000-05:00

Mark Twain once said 'Age is a matter of mind. If it doesnt mind, it doesn't matter'

So I had a nice birthday. I cut two cakes but I am still 26:))

This one being my favourite chocolate cake!!! My labmates celebrated my birthday in the lab:) Also got a beautiful card that said 'No matter how strange or fun..we (labmates) wish the very best for you'

Thats indeed true. Work place is always a medley of different types of people!

My friends came home at midnight and bought this beautiful cake. I only like chocolate cake with no icing..and I hate white cakes..but I was pleasantly surprised to find out that this one indeed had a chocolate cake, beneath!

Amongst the gifts that I received, this one from Wolf totally cracked me up..Trust him to come up with this innovative gift idea:) He bought this Kitchen Apron for me, along with a card that said 'To appreciate the marvellous cook inside you'. It has the photo of a woman in the 60's and this apron was a tribute to women. WOW..Thanks my dear:) But there are some gifts, which usually go unopened for the fear of getting them stained.

My friends presented me with a Crystal Goblet:) 'Goblet of Fire'
Hahhaaa
Guess, I will have to have my juice in this now:) OK..for allof you, bring your wine..I will provide glasses:P

Always wanted to own a 'Mikasa'crystal bowl. And then there are some things which are always best received as gifts.;)

This card sent to me by three friends whom I have never met but people who are amazingly cute and full of life!

This card was MY FIRST gift this year! Presented by Vik, Slain and Shiji!

The three cute cartoons totally represents them. If u can enlarge it, the captions are witty and hilarious! Vik was the one who posted it and was annoyed to know that it came to me on 4th june (which he thought was my birthdate). Nevertheless, wishes are wishes irrespective of when you receive it. Its the goodwill that matters:) Thanks people!!!

And thank you all for your wishes too:)
Finally, my kitchen has all that it needs, sirf khana pakane wala chahiye:P

Turning into a new leaf

2006-07-02T15:50:00.000-05:00

I have attained a milestone! Hahaa..no I dint do the 200 mile race or got an award:)

Completed a quarter century on planet earth.

Now yet to scale another quarter century. Yep..I give myself 25 more years:)) [Have my own reasons];)

Although, birthdays arent that special for me anymore, for reasons I am unable to understand.

I see people inviting their friends home and having a huge party..but I stopped doing that since I turned 10. Main reason being that since my birthday falls during monsoon and I absolutely detest monsoon in Bombay, I myself did not like celebrating:))

But, birthdays have always been a family occassion for me.

Mom would buy me brand new clothes and we used to go to temple to thank god for whatever he has given me in that year. Along with a sumptous meal made by mom. The only thing that I savored was 'Payasam'. And she made it in such a way that I tried mastering that art..only to find that I failed miserably.

Most of all being, phone calls..I dont know..but I am pretty particular about my folks calling me on my birthday.

In college, we were 5 friends..and they would have a competition (just like Girl from Ipanema and The girl who sold the world have one;) as to who will be the first to call:)

For the umpteenth time, my sis calls me at 12 o clock midnight (India Time). Actually, it doesnt surprise me anymore, coz I wait for her call during that time and thats when I actually think its my birthday!

So then she says 'WOW..dint realize you were 26!" 'Hope you grow up (mentally) now:D

Thats the best compliment I have received so far:))

One of my friends R..with whom I practically lost touch with after college and whose birthday falls on 30th June..sends me an email without fail. Its been so long and we never exchange any correspondences all through the year but I know I will look for her email on 2nd July!

And today, as I set out of the house to visit the temple, I had a strange feeling..Its practically the only ritual I have carried with myself from India:) as far as birthdays are concerned.

Its not about family celebrating together, no payasam cooked by mom and yeay! no new clothes either:))

I have realized that the only thing that makes me look forward to birthdays are phone calls, emails and that ceremonial mid night cake!

I am particularly happy that my phone was continuously ringing beginning 12..The first caller (surprises) was Navdeep! I felt sheer embarrased that I assumed her to be one of my closest pals and started talking in marathi and when she confessed it was Navdy..I assumed she was fooling me..and said no..U sound like 'Sayesha' U cant be Navdy:O But yeah..she does sound like a sweet girl:)

Followed by Vikram (Idiot! openly asked one of my friends what my birthdate was:O)

Then, Wolf..who actually sang a birthday song for me..That was so sweet, my dear..then Wolf's sister..another darling who remembered to call me!

This morning, I was greeted by another sweet 'teenage baccha' Rohit:)

I sometimes wonder, what makes people connect instantly..I kinda waited for couple of people whose calls I expected but was disappointed:) I dont mind agreeing to that!
And I actually did not expect navdy and Rohit's calls coz I knew they did not have my numbers but were very sweet to fish it for me:)

The whole day, I am happy that even though am working today..there are many friends who bought a smile on my face..few of my friends and Thanu being the last one:)

These things make my life!

And today, I start this journey hoping that I continue to get goodwill from everyone:)

Honest confessions of a tired soul

2006-06-30T23:49:00.000-05:00

I was tagged by some Karma guy :P to complete this!

I am thinking about: whether there is light at the end of tunnel

I want: the sky to be blue always:P

I wish: people would let each other know that they have changed.

I miss: being Moni (none knows how she was and who she was)

I hear: my inner voice

I wonder: whether the virtues I possess are my weaknesses in disguise

I regret : Innumerable things. Which if I would have done, life would have been something different and I would have been somewhere else

I am: what I am, take me or leave me

I dance: when no one is around

I sing: To the tune that life plays

I cry: to cleanse myself

I am not always: A fountain of forgiveness

I write: Its my profession:P (of course am not a writer):P

I confuse: myself

I need: Someone to come home to

I should try: My hand at starting cookery classes. Sometimes, I wonder if I chose the right direction in life!

I finish: very few things that I start

I tag: Pradyot and Nitin (long time), Gangadhar, Ujwal and Sudeep

California..I saw, I came, I conquered:)

2006-06-29T15:19:00.000-05:00

After a lot of gudbud, I finally landed in sunny california:) and just like the place...it rocked!!!

I had a lot of trouble putting up the pics...:X(
Hate blogger for that. It would not let me put up any more:((

California: The land in the west. Unmatched. Incomparable. A state in its own. I used to defend my place whenever Thanu and Vikram sang praises about it. But sometimes, you need to experience things in order to believe in them.

Although, it was a short stint..I believe no amount of time would do justice to explore the richness of the place.

A place that is culturally diverse and that lacks a major ethnic group. In fact, on the streets as well as on the roads, one can find either an asian or a hispanic:))

The fast life, the zzoming cars....it scared me..especially known was the fact that San Francisco (SFO) had notorious traffic!

My cousin lives in a place miless away from SFO in one direction and few miles away from nature!

Explored beautiful scenic places. Beaches,sand, waterfall, ocean..Man! how serene!!!

Another area of interest was the Golden Gate Bridge. A bridge that is spread over 8 miles and which took like 4 years to be constructed. They say one needs to be lucky to see the bridge clearly. As you can see in this pic, a thick coat of fog overshadows the bridge's top portion. Well, looks like I was unlucky..coz we went there twice and both the days were foggy!

Then in the middle of the bay, there is this 'prison' which is quite famous and called as 'Alcatraz'. Again you can see that in this pic (in middle) again hard to see coz of the fog!

We took this SFO tour bus which took us around the city. This one is the Fishermans Wharf. Live crabs :O and all sea-food delicacies..not of my interest:P

SFO skyline! Tall buildings, greenary!! now thats something which does not make CA a concrete jungle:)

The Pier 39. That offered live entertainment. This is what the real california is. Buzzing with people who look 'happy' and 'who enjoy life'

More people!!! rocking to the rock band..Viks..missed you here:(

The Pier again!

No visit to california is complete if you do not visit Ghirardelli:)

My age old desire to have Ghirardelli's warm Caramel Sundae:) Ummmmmmm..yummiee...so filling!!!

And my visit would have been incomplete if I hadn't met Thanu. She already blogged about my visit here.

She is one friend with whom I have connected marvellously. The first blog friend I met. She had made Masala dosa and sambar as promised.

She lives in a beautiful apartment and the best part is I could totally relate the 'online'Thanu to the 'real-life'Thanu. I always 'knew'she was organized, careful and planner. It was different this time, coz I 'saw' her that way. Her home is spotless. A friend who was accompanying me said 'Her house is so clean that even if we walk, it would stain it':)

All I know she is extremely warm and an equally adorable wife:) and that indeed was Thanu's Humble Abode:)

Overall, I got to spend some exciting time with family. Made some beautiful memories precious enough to be shared:)

Experienced California, the spirit of California. Celebrated Life!

United Airlines Sucks!

2006-06-23T21:50:00.000-05:00

As I was about to embark on my trip to sunny california after a gap of one year, United airlines screwed it all!

Exactly 23rd June 2005, that I cam back from my trip to India and since then this was my first flight in a year.

Beaming with excitement, I landed at the airport for my 6:45 PM flight and while I reached, I saw this board saying flight departing at 9:00 PM..:O

I went upstairs and found that tehre were other ppl whose flight was delayed before me and they have been there for more than 3 hrs!

Darn! I might actually not be able to make it tonite, I thought!

Meanwhile, some angel showed us a direction and some flight came in and we were made to board that one!

We got inside comfortably perched and the dude announces "This flight will not leave Omaha due to technical errors which we previously tried to resolve. But we still see a leak"

Soooooooo??

Are we supposed to feel sorry??

Dude, if the flight was already screwed up..why din't you bring one aircraft earlier which would take us to our destination???

We were made to alight the flight.

OK! next flight coming down at 9:30 but you WILL MISS YOUR CONNECTING FLIGHT! and stay over in Denver fo that night!
WTF...

So.......??

You might have to leave tommorrow morning!1

Do I have an option?? No....

So thank your stars and reach home..instead of spending the night in some god forsaken airport!

I am still in a better shape..I am at home, sipping tea and cooking for the night.

There are several others who are still at the airport and dont know how long they have been travelling.

Lady 1:-Travelling from Hendley which is 4 hrs from Omaha (she was 70+ and started from home at 7 AM)

Lady 2;- has this important conference and she needs to be there by noon tommorrow

Man 1:- Has been transiting in Omaha and basically is stuck here.

Other flights are full and so are the hotels coz of this freaking baseball.
Some damn College World Series.

talk about sports and its craze spread over like a virus:X(

To couple the whole issue you got to deal with rude officials. Believe it or not, they were actually behaving as if they are doing a huge favour on us! We have paid 300$ or more for tickets. We DESERVE to go to our destination. By hook-or-by-crook!

How do u manage an airline company if you cannot handle crisis? worse still your employees are not trained enuf to deal with fuming people!

We do not get 10 days of holiday. And you ruin it with all this hassle in our 3 days of happiness and not even being apologetic??

As I type this, I am not even sure if I will get to go to California tommorrow:(

In a land of likes

2006-06-19T21:57:00.000-05:00

Freindship with women: Can either be a hit or fail miserably!
I have always maintained that maintaining friendship with a woman is always tough (here I am talking about a girl-girl relationship).

Either you don't have expectations..(you be happy this way) or expect from someone whom you are sure wont let you down. I do have two friends with whom I can expect anything without getting hurt. But they have been friends from childhood so maybe its a matter of time!

The main problem with this being the fact that girls are prone to jealousy and are subject to sulking as well. Which sometimes prevent them from revealing 'their true self'

Although, I have been lucky in many respects as concerns to friendships with gals..but there are some incidents which I would rather forget.

Back in Summer 2004 when I left Lousiana, I was very good friends with a gal-I-would-rather-forget (GIWRF)

After being good friends..(now I need to be careful with my usage of the term 'good) neways atleast thats wht I believe, I was!

Suddenly, a week before leaving the town she shoots off a rude email to me and my roomie saying 'She wont be there for my farewell party and that she would never be friends with us anymore'

The damage was done here itself.

My roomie who continued to live there, tried to figure out the problem and told me that she was a victim of some misunderstanding. I tried to brush off this whole episode and called her after 6 mths. We continued to talk like before. No questions asked.

Later, in 2006..we never got to exchange a single word..coz she doesnt have a cell.

I left couple of messages on her home phone but she never cared to call back. Fine. I happened to talk to her today.

She had to dig out stuff from the grave and told me that I had hurt her previously. Adding that we had different levels of sensitivities because of which she doesnt want to be friends with me anymore. So that she can avoid any further hurt.

Well, irrespective of how much I hate a person..I have never gathered the guts to speak out this statement to anyone. Which can be THE RUDE thing to say to anyone.

We all might have done things in the past that would not have been pleasant. I am not defending myself or anything for the very fact being that, I have no clue what she was talking about.

The problem is that, a lot of damage can be undone if things are talked promptly. I would so much prefer being friends with a girl who would tell me I suck instead of one who cloys with her sweetness intitially.

Secondly, the other problem arises when one girl asks one common friends to stop talking to the 'vivtim' only coz she has problems!

If I think correctly, all of my guy friends have been really understanding. They dont mind my calling them 'dimwits, ullo, idiot, gadha, moneky'. None of them have bought up things 10 years back saying ' U said this to me like a million years ago'. Likewise, there are many guys who have told me ' Dimag ka dahi mat bana. Paka mat' etc..and I sware I have never felt annoyed. I guess I have very few girl-friends to whom I can comfortably say such things!

But nevertheless, am lucky to have those handful of them:)

Waise bhi zindagi mein kabhi haan kabhi na to chalte hi rehta hai. Some like you and some dont:D

A place so bountiful

2006-06-19T15:13:00.000-05:00

I went to Minneapolis for a conference last week. My second trip to this beautiful city.

Minnesotta (state) thats up north can get cold even in summer..Last time when we went in september the place was cold and this time in Peak summer when we went..it was cold too:))

Rightly said by one of the postcards "Minnesotta: If the cold doesn't get you, the windchill will"

Hahahaa...

Newyas, we had a blast. First of all, free stay at 'Radisson' doesn't happen often in one's life;)
One funny incident happened. And maybe I am god's chosen one to go through such 'fantabulous'experiences;)

So while I checked in I asked at the counter who my 'roomate'was..She mentioned an Indian name..and which was a Guy's name...so obviously I dint wanna share my room with a guy.Period.

Me: I think thats a guy

Official: No..the person has registered as a 'female'

Me: Err..

Official: Let the person come..we can find out

I opened the huge room and was glad that I was all by myself.

A girl was walking in front of me. In some wierd fashion, we hit it off at that instant. She was also from Bombay and well in my experience, I can so connect to them. To some I might be biased..but well, in my opinion..I have always found fellow Mumbaiyya's quite approachable and initaite conversation with. I asked her "So well, who is this person from your univ"

She said"OMG! He is a guy and you DONT want to share the room with him"

I gasped and exclaimed to one of my american friends.

Guys are sometimes wierd:

Friend: Thats the thing about America. U can stay in the same room with 'a guy'.The room has two beds in it.

Thankfully, an American girl L came to my rescue and give him a good hearing.

L: Well, even an american girl wont be in the same room with a 'random guy'. Guys have rules of their own.Huh!

Finally, I spent the night with L. One more experience..that goes down the memory lane. In a new place, yet another stranger came forward to help me!

Then comes the beautiful majestic 'Lake Superior', the world's largest Fresh water lake.

A lake thats vast enough to swallow an entire cargo ship.

Amazing..aint it??

They had posted a signboard there saying 'No swiming' which was strange coz none in their right frame of mind would even dream of that.

But the best thing was, there was no restrain or serrated bars to prevent people from jumping into the water!

We were taken on a 'Cruise' too. My first cruise ride that too free of cost. Although, am no too big on that.
Two reasons: I do not know swimming
and I get sea-sick.

My first ship ride to Elephanta caves in Mumbai (when I was 10) was horrible..coz I kept throwing up. So I wanted to see if this phobia has reduced in 15 years..Naah! it did not. The moment I stared into the dark water in the background of night, there was a sinking feeling in my stomach.

But the evening was the most memorable one. Met some wonderful people on the shore. There was live jazz music on the cruise. One musician asked me which song I wanted to hear and what were we doing in there.

I replied: We have a boring life. We are PhD students. Seldom get holidays.

He said:Our life is boring!

Well maybe 'grass is always greener on the other side'

One more thing that I noticed was with an old faculty who was accompanying us on the ride. Him and his wife (both in their late 70's) danced to glory. They were the only 'young'couple who danced till they couldn't dance anymore. We stood there watching and clapping!

They had music in their feet and probably at that age one is more contended...

Lastly, this picture is my favourite one. So we were on the banks of Superior where we saw a flock of seagulls.

Thankfully, in the trip I had a friend who was equally crazy as me.

That sight reminded me of this famous place in Dadar 'Kabootar Khana'.

We decided to feed the seagulls with some 'popocorn'

This pic was captured by my friend who caught the action 'live'. The seagulls finished the entire packet in less than 5 minutes. The moment they saw the popcorns hurled at them, they would catch it..beautiful sight it was:)

We were taken to this excellent Body World museum. An artistic exhibition of human plastinates. Wike does an excellent job of defining this place, here. Although, it was scientific, there were some things over there, which completely grossed me out!

Lastly, this US navy cargo ship that we got to visit!

Cannot imagine that the cargo ship was so much like an entire house! With all the comfort n everything. And the entry fees being merely $3:)

The guy who explained the history of the ship basically was so full of life (all at age of 15-16). Of the trivia he explained...it came as a surprise that such a big and huge ship built in 1938 was discarded for $ 1 in 1970:)

In the basement of the ship, there lay a poster of Edmund Fitzerald ship. This was a huge huge ship and the last ship that sank in the massive Lake Superior in 70s. For all those interested in reading about it, can read it here.

It was extremely interesting, the way a place is associated with so much of history! This was my second visit to this land of lakes. And each time I go there is something to explore!

Although, I could not visit 'Mall of America' (which has more than 520 stores), I still think..that there's a lot to a place than just its malls and stores!
Minus the weather, Minnesotta is a wonderful place to be. Rich in fresh air, fresh water, beautiful locales!

P.S:- My next post will be my trip to California on friday!

Strangers in the nightime

2006-06-13T20:45:00.000-05:00

We face extremes of weather. Too cold winters and intense summers too..although not as hot as Texas:D

So these days, I am making use of the blaring heat and the bright sunshine which means, I get to stand and read in my balcony for the better part of the evening, once I return from lab.

Thats the best part of summer..albeit the hot weather.

Time n again, I am reminded of a summer two years back when I moved from Louisiana. From a place, that totally was devoid of indian faces, Omaha came as a pleasant surprise. I live in a student housing that too junta thats in and out Indian.

Well, I am one person who cannot live without music. So whenever I come home thats the first thing I do.

Open the blinds, open the big glass window, switch on the music, make some tea and sip it for hours together.

Although, being in a student-friendly apartment, I had no clue who lived in the apartment above mine. Thats not uncommon in US:)

And I am not a person who would openly start talking to guys (in person)

At that time, I was on T-mobile cell phone provider and I had to go into my balcony in order to make/receive calls.

During that time, one day while I was on the phone, a voice said "Hi" and I looked above to find a desi-guy chirping that to me!

I merely looked..unsure of whether to respond back or not. [OK! I was a bit scared here. Dint want a stalker to come behind me]

Few days later, again the event repeated.

This time I decided not to even look into that guys direction.

After that it became a routine..Whenever, I would open the big glass window in my balcony..I would hear the guys on the top floor repeat suit.

I being a late night bird, would play music until late night. Sometimes, I would hear them humming the same tune. The guys would chat away to glory in hindi...until wee hours of morning. Sometimes, when I played some song they would talk amongst themselves 'Dil Chahta hai' and without realizing I would start playingDCH CD. I found it strangely amusing.

One day, I checked with my friends as to who were those guys who lived there.

They told me that the guys were Pakistanis and were nice chaps, one of them was a very good looking guy.

After being reassured that the guys meant no harm, I decided to smile when next time either of them tried to talk to me.

On a following sunday, I saw few movers outside my building. Since this was a routine thing, I ignored. Then I saw a familiar face talking on the phone. I held the door for him and he smiled again. I knew it was the guy who lived above.

He said 'Hi'...'We are moving. Now you dont have to stand our non-stop chatter'

I kinda felt bad and just said "No..that dint bother me a bit'

He said 'Well, it was nice of you to keep us company with some good songs. Hope to see you around'

Although, after that..I was kinda disappointed with my attitude here. Why do we sometimes distrust people initially? Not all guys are skirt-chasers. Maybe it helps being safe and all that.

Dont know what that was. But suddenly I realize that its been 2 years..I havent heard familair guys keeping me company in the wee hours of night in the house above me. I dont sit in the balcony all that often. I don't consiously try to overhear any conversations that anyones having there, which I earlier did.

Sometimes, strangers give you strange companionship:)

A long weekend after a long time

2006-05-31T19:01:00.000-05:00

Weekend comes and weekend goes!

Every year there are a lot of long weekends we get!

But this weekend was special in its own way..

I did not fly down to any fancy place, neither did I travel miles to seek happiness..coz happiness was at my doorstep:-)

There are certain things that are totally inexplicable but still I am trying to put them into words.

Exactly, a year 26th May that I landed in India one year back. Most happiest day I remember in recent memory. Exactly a year that I have been "that"happy. I felt the presence of my "hometown" here, coz a very dear friend from my home, Kalyan visited me.

In my home town, Kalyan we have this tower in the market place, which is called "Shivaji Chowk". This tower in Omaha, reminded me of that.

This one was at the Riverfront.

Lonely deserted street of Omaha on a usually quiet sunday evening. This was taken while driving, when the raindrops fell on the windshield.

This one was in Old Market. There is something totally mystic about old buildings especially in the evenings!

This was at the Omaha Heartland Park
Observe the ducks that were walking in one straight line. They spent the entire time at the same spot. Wonder how they dont get bored:O

This one is my favourite: "Path of Enlightenment" is what comes to my mind, when I look at it.

I don't know but the pic of this "mynah" cracks me up totally whenever I look at it! Both of us call it "Khadoos mynah" for some reason. My friend was clicking a pic of this bird and after several attempts wherein she was just carelessly flying everywhere, he managed to capture her after all. The moment he said "E thamb (hey wait)"..she paused exactly for few seconds, allowed him to click her, gave him an attitude and flew off":/

A railway track totally empty. Kinda takes me down the memory lane when I travelled by train in India. Never got to see such a vie sans people:)

Green grass and clear water..what else would one want?

And this one is my favourite! There is this dark sky, pale blue water, greens of different hue.

Clearly, the best weekend I ever had! Time well spent with a person from a familiar soil in a foreign country basking in midst of nature!

A Home away from home was the feeling:)

Distant memories out of the closet

2006-05-25T04:21:00.000-05:00

I wonder how I mess my apartment up!

I am hardly home and also clean up my apartment every week!

Today, as usual I was looking for something. Today it was a "clip" to tie my hair up. I manage to leave one in the lab and manage to sucessfuly break some of the banana clips.

So when I was browsing through the mess in my closet.. I came across this.

An Irish Handkerchief. Given to me in Lousiana by my Irish Professor for whom I was more of a daughter than a student. Even now, although its been more than 2 years that we have met, we connect in that manner. One professor who despite being 72, said "I am relentlessly young"
For those of who, have never come across an Irish, one thing for sure is they have an extraordinary sense of humor. When I mentioned to my brother-in-law about him, he said "Just ask your profs to narrate you some Irish bar jokes"

I approached him and asked him to tell me some. He smiled and said "Those jokes are the ones I could tell my wife but not to my daughter"

His attitude is so much like "Morrie" from one of the most inspiring books I have read in recent times "Tuesdays with Morrie"

There are some people who are absolutely inspiring. Although, I like a lot of people, there are very few ones to whom I look upto. On whom, I my level of trust can be equated to 'blind faith". He tops amongst those few people.

I remember, one day while going down the elevator, when we were discussing some Indian recipe, he casually said "I believe, a woman should have a zeal for cooking. Otherwise, its no fun being a woman". Well, there were few other American women in the elevator too and obviously weren't too happy to hear that.

We chuckled, but somehow he has been quite motivational for me to develop my interest in cooking.

And then one day, on my first birthday in US..we celebrated my birthday by blowing one single candle on a muffin along with a cup of "English Blend Tea". Just him and me. The most memorable birthdays that I ever had. When he casually said "Just sit there. Women are supposed to sit there and look beautiful on their birthdays and enjoy the presents". Thats when he presented me with that handkerchief.

For the fear of spoling it, I never used it.

There are some gifts that are so special that although they are needed every waking day of your life, you dont get around using that!

And then there are some gifts whose gift wrappers are also special:) coz they are just too precious to go into the trash:)

Science and reasoning?

2006-05-23T00:01:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, some event made me say something totally 'non scientific' to which my sister said, "How come you say this being a scientist"

I gasped and could not control my tears. My mind was saying something and my heart refused to accept it.

Its wierd how when it comes to family and people whom we love, we defy all laws of universe and science.

Sometimes, we just refuse to accept the truth.

Science might say: Your father has heart complications. Needs to cut down on calories.
You might agree. But, you might think, let him have just one laddoo. It wouldnt hurt!

Science might say: Your mom needs rest. She should not cook.
You might agree. But, you might feel, wish I could just have that one piece of aam-ka-achar made by her.

Science might say: Cancer is still fatal (although this is a common belief which I dont buy)
You might agree. But, You would still not give up. You would still think there might be some remedy unheard of which might work!

One might be an established surgeon. But, his hands would still tremble while handling those forceps while dissecting his kin!

Science might assume logical dimensions, but when it comes to loved ones, you defy logic. Science might believe in hardwork and reality but sometimes you wish to believe that miracles would occur!

P.S:-I am not getting sad or anything. So please no sympathies and what happened ROS comments:D

The Braveheart

2006-05-19T13:50:00.000-05:00

The last week has been pretty upsetting at the same time busy.

I was in receipt of two bad news, both that involved road accidents.

One incident that happened with my close friends who was hit over on to the other side of he highway by a car driving at 80 mph on a Highway in Atlanta. Thankfully, he escaped with minor injuries.

Two days before, it happened with a friend's dad back in India. His state is inexplicable, but currently he is at the threshold.

These incidents kinda make me wonder what it is exactly with life?? What kind of feeling one must be experiencing when someone is at close quarters like that??

I have never had any close brush with fatal accidents except for one time. We were driving at a highway in Minneapolis. My friend was driving the car and there were four of us in the car. So this dude, merges into the highway without giving an indication and enters our lane. My friend had no clue this was coming and without thinking twice, abruptly moved on to the left lane. Fortunately, for us no other car was coming in that lane. Otherwise, that would have been "THE END" for all of us. It would have been the most horrible accident.

It pretty much left me shaken and made me even more cautious while driving and not taking "life for granted"

Sometimes, I really raise my eyebrows when I hear someone having suicidal tendencies. When someone is ready to just consume that "bottle of poison" for practically any reason, be it "failure in exams, being ditched by their loved ones"

I might sound pessimistic at times, but killing yourself prematurely is something that I can never dream of. It can never be a "solution"

I get increasingly uncomfortable in hospital environment. Although, I spent all my time in the medical school. Today, I saw this not more than 4 years old kid being trollied in the hallway. The kid had all sorts of tubes and catheters on its body. The sight saddened me to no extent. When such a small thing can fight for its life on a hospital bed, we as healthy living beings do not have the right to end it for any reason.

Imagine people who are actually on the brink of life n death. They can see it coming from far off but still holding on to the strings of life. Thats what I call as "killer instinct" and a brave soul.

Sometime back, on Sayesha's blog I read a comment by Negative creep in which he said

"Death is what gives meaning to life"

So very well said..and whole meaning of life summarized by few words!

I have moved

2006-05-16T00:09:00.000-05:00

Guys, to maintain the flow of my thoughts and the fictional story "A Bridge across two cities", I have created another blog in my same account.
The further parts of the story will be written here.

http://refreshingrays.blogspot.com/

For those who are interested can just digress a little bit to Refreshingrays

My other nonsensical posts will be written here itself:-)

A Bridge across two cities-Part 1

2006-05-12T12:58:00.000-05:00

[An attempt at fiction.

All characters are fictional. Any resembelance to anyone is strictly coincidental.

Although, I have closely related this to my life, as will be evident in the write up! Can't live without science, you see;) reflects everywhere!!!. I havent planned the entire write-up, but here is the series]

Gargi was just busy with her usual experiments in the lab. A third year PhD student happily burried in the confines of the laboratory. Where there were sounds of all sorts of equipments and an inner voice that never let the lab feel 'empty' despite the conspicous absence of people.

It was one of the days of Spring, amidst a heavy work schedule that involved waking up and running around to work. Followed by an evening with friends and getting home tired and finishing up household chores before departing to bed.

She seemed to have made a life away from home away in shores of California. Enjoying the warm sunny and happening lifestyle of the city. Studying in one of the well known university amongst a bunch of other people who enjoyed or rather lived in a similar lifestyle.

Everything seemed to be the way she always wanted it to be. To live away from home. To live life on her own terms, where none would question her, whom she met, who her friends were. What time she returned home. Driving on fast highways. Zoom zoom zoom!

Her life was full. Full of activities. But deep down inside she was lonely. Although, her loneliness never got the better of her. Being a headstrong girl, she never indulged into falling for men. She always knew she would be with someone with whom she can get married to. Flings were just not for her.

Although, she kept getting attracted to different guys but many times, those crushes got 'crushed' the moment she came to know the guys a little too well.

As she got all dewy eyed thinking of the transition, her labmate, Freya said "hey girlie, what you thinking, as usual senti kya"

Gargi just gave her a mischevious smile. They both knew what she might be thinking.

"Ok you in for some tennis" Freya asked

"Naah! boss has asked me to finish up this abstract before the weekend", Gargi said.

"Ohh...its friday honey! Take it easy", Freya said giving her a weary look.

"Alrighty, I will work on it at night"

They both were quite contrast in terms of personality. They knew each other pretty well. After all they spent atleast 12-14 hours of the day together. They were aware of each other' likes n dislikes. Although, Freya was pretty agressive and smart. Gargi was little mellow and pretty hardworking and had a bunch of friends who totally adored her.

At the gym, both the girls met a bunch of guys who had already occupied the tennis court.

"Hola guys!" both of them waved at Kate, Alok and Vinay

"So here come the two lab mice" retorted Alok. Alok was one of those guys, who pretty much was concerned of what others did than what he did.

"Yeah, the mice are out already. Like they say "When the cat is away, the mice play" Gargi said.

Gargi knew how to exactly shut his mouth of. Thats why he did not try being a smart ass in front of her atleast.

"Guys, we are planning to have a Pool party saturday night at mark's house", Kate said.

"Wow, that sounds too cool" Vinay exclaimed. "We haven't had a party in a long long time now. Damn the semester"

Kate said "Yeah, I agree to that. I have been having a spate of misfortunes. I indeed need to chill out on beer"

To which, Alok said "Oh yeah right! Kate can guzzle down as much beer like one drinks water straight out of tap"

"Stop being so sarcastic, Alok", chided Freya

"Oh! relax Freya, Aloks knows that his words need not be taken seriously"

"Oh am in, guys! Hope Mark has some non alcoholic margaritas too", Gargi said

"Aah! Girl, beer is heaven. Damn..its not even an alcohol. How can one not drink beer when in America"--Kate said

"Naah..nothing of that sort. Its just that my esophagus (food pipe) burns coz of alcohol", Gargi said.

All of them roared into a laughter!

"OK! lets kick their ass in tennis now, a reason to celebrate at Mark's"..Kate winked at Alok

"Oh! whatever! You know, none can beat me in that"

"Saturdat night's gonna be fun"--Chirpy Freya remarked!!!!!!

Of food and frustration:)

2006-05-09T22:53:00.000-05:00

Chanelling negative energy into the kitchen!

Try making the hardest dish!

The one that you have failed a million times.

In my case, it was "Bhakri"(or bajre ki roti)

Roast it to vent out!

Try real hard to get the round shape.

Even harder to prevent the dough from breaking down

Help yourself with generous helpings of ghee.

And eat it with "Kadhi"

After that, relax..coz most of the "steam"has been already spent!

:)

Tadpoles or frogs

2006-05-09T17:22:00.000-05:00

[The title has nothing to do with the contents "superficially"]

I was in the 6th standard in school.

This was a very special year of my school. For one reason. There was this guy in my class named "S."

We weren't the greatest of friends. But, he made quite an effect on me while in school.

I was amongst the top rankers in the class. By "top ranker" I mean, who was always second in the class.

The number two has been quite memorable for me in terms of experience.

My birthdate being the second. I am the second daughter. Plus, I never awed for the first spot ever. I was pretty contented enjoying the second place. Not being overly ambitious. That made me the 'second best' in class.

In my 6th grade, I got really close to being the first. It was mt most hated subject "Maths"

I scored some 32 marks out of 40 in that class. "S" who was always the first in the class, was pretty taken aback, coz he made 31 in that class. Which was going to put him behind me in the class.

The guy asked me for my paper. Being the pretty simpleton girl, I handed over the paper for him to see. He went through my paper. Next what I see, is him and the teacher talking and discussing something looking at my paper. Only to realize, that the teacher accidentally gave me 'ONE' extra point and he noticed that. After brought to notice, teacher instead of slapping him, deducted my extra point. Again, I landed with the second slot.

That year, I cried like never before. So close-yet-so-far.

Its OK, if I never got close to that. I never wanted to be there. But, after enjoying my 5 seconds of happiness, this was something that was totally a setback for a little child.

I went home and cribbed about it to my mom. She only said, you should never have let the guy take a look at your paper. Dont trust people too much!

People always learn from their mistakes. If you repeat those again you are only foolish.
There were this Bong kids who went to school with us. Whenever we asked them during exam "Kitna padhke hua"(how much did u study)? They would just reply "Kuch bhi nahi"(nothing). And then, they would always top the class.

I never understood their attitude and for the lack of words, I still do not.

Whats behind all the hush-hush when it comes to academia?

No matter what, I cannot get your grey cells and top the class, if I do not have the aptitude.

Mom always used to say "Vidya (Knowledge) only increases if you share it"

I never forget that. Even if someone asks me for something that I am not aware of, I use few resources to check it out and help in some ways. I do not think its right for me to blatantly refuse saying "Go figure it out yourself"

That was then, when peer pressure wasnt too high. Plus, we were kids. Always knew how to patch up.

Wonder how 25 year olds still believe in keeping things under wraps.

Somehow, people refuse to grow up. or maybe I am not fit for the modern day competitive world:)

Sealed with love??

2006-05-04T14:29:00.000-05:00

Ever heard about "Fate sealed in an envelope"?

The envelope that holds the key to your happiness.

Maybe it would put to rest all my doubts and fears or making me believe in the law of averages or else it might result in more skepticism.

I don't know. Sometimes, other's expectations out of you pull you down.

Maybe, I am laying too much emphasis on the contents of that. But, its something that will continue to affect me for a long long time!

Hope my summer starts on a brighter note..

My constant friend

2006-04-29T00:28:00.000-05:00

Quite unexpected things happen over in blogworld.
You come across people. Read their views. They read yours.

You get a feeling of how the person might be, just by the way he writes (although this might not hold true for many ppl)

Well, through such an experience, I came across Thanu

The one person who is a "Constant friend"

Today, is this wonderful girl's Birthday!

We all have friends with whom we fight, we argue and then we patch up.

Me and Thanu have been friends for as long as 7 months. And during these 7 months, I do not recollect having said "Sorry" to her for any reason. Despite talking to her every waking day of my life ( except weekends, when I let her be with her hubby):P

She is one person who really is marvellous. Although, I have never met her, she still is someone with whom I can totally relate to. We know our usual routine. In those 7 minutes that she takes to reach home from work, we catch up on day to day events.

Idealistic, organized and humble are the traits one can associate her with. In fact, as we all know, she comes alive through her blogs. Explains simple facts in less verbose way. Usually talks about childhood memories;) And one who is never found cribbing about life. Thats what I adore in her. And no wonder, we all want to have such a friend in our lives.

Just like how Sayesha puts it "We can never have too many friends" and like how I say "Thats why hold on to the few whom you have"

So here as she wakes up "I wish her a very happy birthday' and well, indeed she would remain my "constant friend"

Dus afsane

2006-04-26T19:57:00.000-05:00

I have been tagged by Thanu to list 10 different things I miss.

1. The two stars far far away from me

2. My sister's scolding:

Yep..I would hate it earlier, when Tai used to scream at me for every indisciplined act of mine. Be it leaving books anywhere in the house except for where they belong (that is..in the shelf). Or when she ironed all my clothes for one week and kept them neatly in the cupboard and the bashing that I got after I would stain them with tea or daal. As suggested by this card that she gave me when I was in 6th standard.Which says "Happy Birthday from Lady Hitler whom you better know as your sister"

Now my sister is more of a friend than a sister and now I realize that i miss someone screaming at me. Like they say "Siblings are the best links to your past"

3. My School: Lourdes High School, Kalyan

A place that I owe everything to. Best grades, best friends, best dhamaal. Where the guys teased me "Teacher's pet is that you?yes yes yes"

I miss being a teacher's pet:(

4. Public Transport:

I have travelled by every possible route in Bombay (except for boats).:P

Rickshaw, dukkar gadi, empty trains, tongas,over crowded trains, buses, taxis! Although hectic, it never seemed overwhelming. I hate being dependant on 'your owned vehicle"

5. Aslesha:

My dearest friend with whom I had the opportunity to travel on Scooty:)) One with whom I can simply say any crap without being guilty. One who used to come home every day just to have a "masala chai" made by me. With whom, I used to hang out at "Chaat cafe" in Kalyan. When one day, she wrote me this " Tere ko pata hai kya main chaatcafe gayi hi nahi hoon tere jane ke baad". Its been more than 3 years, the babe has not stepped into that place which was our favourite hangout.

6. Terrace:

I miss living in a building that had a terrace. Wonderful memories associated with that particular part of the building. Playing until late at nights, being scowled at for leaning across, or disturbing the papads that were left to dry, throwing baloons during holi, or spending the better part of teenage years with Priyu discussing our "crushes" which used to get "crushed"

7. Sunday afternoon naps:

The erstwhile "Kumbhakaran" is now a confirmed insomniac.

8. Being easygoing:

True. The once laidback typical "Cancerian" now worries about everything. Like how my friends put it "I look for trouble, where none exist".

9. Nimboo ka juice:

I remember the times in college, when we came home in scorching sun. The 2 Rs..limboo juice was the thirst-quencher.

10. Being truly contented:

There was a time, when I really was contented. When I was happy to be a second rank holder, was more than satisfied to get a first class in university exams. To work hard during the semester and get a comfortable summer vacation. Those indeed were the best days of my life!

I miss a lot of things that cant be expressed here.

I tag:

Vikram:- who is now getting these urges to quit blogging

Bag of Peas: An awesome writer and a new blogger

Vi: Havent tagged her in long

Nitin: Long time havent tagged him

Shreyas: A new blogger as well

The High-Life

2006-04-21T17:28:00.000-05:00

God gives us one life. Few dull moments but too many moments to rejoice!

Ordinary yet priceless moments.

Here I am listing few of the things that give me a "high"

An email such as this, from a dear friend only to bring a chuckle to your face!

A hand written letter via snail mail. They indeed have become a rarity thats why even more priceless!

An SMS that beeps in the middle of night screaming "I miss you"

Enjoying those times with friends with whom you can goof around. Act like a child and be yourself!

A warm cup of freshly brewed coffee. Aromatic. Strong and full of zest!

Enjoying a great conversation with older and experienced people. They always have something that will open up the cracks in mind.

A heartfelt prayer that gets answered, Making you beleive in prayers!

A simple and warm home cooked meal after a tiring day! Nothing beats this satisfaction!

The Rainbow: The sun is radiant, Rain is refreshing but isn't it beautiful to witness the rainbow?

To watch a sleeping child: Ever wonder what they think of?? I can spend hours just watching a tiny baby lost in the land of nod!
A warm Hug:)

To bask in the glory of nature. Palm trees on a beach!
Fowers in full bloom: For me, more than the roses its the yellow sunflowers that are refreshing to the soul!

With all this beautiful things, how can life ever suck??

These are my highs!

Got anything to add??:)

Day after sunset

2006-04-18T20:29:00.000-05:00

Ain't I predictable??

And rightly so my friends predicted that my hiatus wont last long.

Situations tend to pull you down but hopefully dont they don't keep you down.

I even tried penning my thoughts on some another account. But that site was given a step mother treatment by me. It just did not seem the same. So here I am!

The sun just set for couple of days. As evident from the picture below, the sun is shining bright!!!

Spring is here!!!!

I took this pic while driving on this favourite lane of mine here!!! I thought, where else will I post these except for my blog!!!!!

Its like the whole world is moving and some things are just stationery.

Quiet and unruffled. Except for the ocassional breeze in which the leaves sway!

I dont know what I wish to convey through these lines, but the meaning is probably evident only to the one is is penning it down:-)

Maybe, the return is coz of my many "offline" friends whom I have got to know so well beyond the bloggers.

Nitin, Sudeep, Sayesha, Thanu, Vikram & Virdi..who asked me a million questions as to why I stopped blogging and even for them, I had no answer.

Aria, Vi and Jeenu:- My Oldest pals on the web.

Freakshow:-The only person whom I know personally and one who has been there for as long as I have known blogging.

Apy:- For that nice lovely email which I have not answered to:( Sorry about that!!!

The baccha party: The Girl, Neha,Rohit

Gangadhar:-who said

//Friends that are sincere and have been kind to me since I entered the blogging world through her orifice!! //

True:-)

Archana:- A new entrant. //I tried out your rasam recipe (from your comment on Thanu's blog) and it was a big hit with my friends :-)! //

Well, what can I say. Thanks for that!

Thats precisely what I feel. Someone somewhere gets benefited for what little thing you do and someone somewhere appreciates something that you do!

Shreyas: //from what I have known u.. u seem quite stubborn abt ur decisions//

Not quite. In fact I consider myself to be quite pliable:-)

So here I am ready to blossom again:P

RP, Kini:- Hahahaa..kya senti maara hai:P:P

Lastly, my oldest and closest real life pal Harshal. The dude has abandoned his blog a year back :X

He made a casual remark yesterday, "Well, I have known you for so long, that even if I dont want to know you, I know you" Who probably has seen the best and the worst in me and when he said yesterday that "Blogging did good to you", I buy it!!

Maybe, on a subconsious level, I have become a better person:)

And for many others who like reading my page:)

Sunset at Starsandsun

2006-04-13T00:09:00.000-05:00

I had started with a cause.

The cause of writing something other than emails and science.

A place where my thoughts rule (Sorry Ujwal using your blog title here)

Started reading a few blogs on Sulekha in March of 2005. Follwed by a only-for-my-eyes blog on Livejournal and culminating into bloggers.

March of 2006. I think I have seen it all.

Came across a lot of really really really good people. It has been fun. Starting from 2-3 visitors to hitting a maximum of 72 visitors.

And I wanted some more.

Finally on second thoughts, I think I am not comfortable with so much of attention and I prefer anonymity. Somewhere, along the course I lost my way and the focus

After a lot of debating I have come to a conclusion that, I have known a lot of myself through 145 posts of mine.

So, with this I disappear into the backstage as the drama has come to an end:)

Its really hard to break away from this, I know..but then attachment indeed is a cause of concern.

Maybe it is one of those moods of mine, but as of now, I dont forsee making a comeback. For that, I probably need to be in avery very very good mood or in a very very very bad mood.

For those of all, who are looking for me, know where to find me!

Love you guys and am sorry if knowingly or unknowingly, I have hurt you.

The least you can do is to forgive.....

Like my dear friend Sudeep said in a forward today, 'Every night someone thinks about you before they go to sleep" [That includes giving nightmares as well..Hahahaha.]poor joke, I know...

But, I hope I bought smiles across some faces:-) and you remember me for that!

After all its just a blog.....

Of having contacts and feeling disconnected

2006-04-09T01:27:00.000-05:00

I was returning home last at night 1:30

It was an empty road with only two cars. Mine and that of my friends. Who was only driving ahead of me to take me to an intersection from where she was to continue on her way further. At this time, the song from Green day

"I walk an empty street" was just ringing in my head.

I walk a lonely road

The only one that I have ever known

Don't know where it goes

But it's home to me and I walk alone

It was a long drive from my home and just like always i flipped my phone and glanced through my "Recent calls history" to dial-a-friend.

And let me take you through my current bizarre state of mind.

These days I have started filtering my calls. I answer the phone only when I want to and if I want to.

India calls do not fall into this "filter"

Sometimes, I don't return calls for days.

No, I am not acting pricey but its just that I dont think I have that motivation to talk to friends with whom I would rather not talk to at that time.

And, thankfully my friends are supportive of that whimisical mood of mine, hoping that it would not last too long:)

In my phone, I have a total of 110 'contacts" including the;

'Miscellaneous" people whom you call upon to 'fix' your problems..such as the landlord, insurance company, the AAA or the DVD rental place or your travel agent!
And then there are some whom you hear from once in 6 months or so. Some who aren't really your friends and who call on you ONLY when they need a ride to the nearby grocery store. Man! be selfish, but atleast be diplomatic about it;)
Some who the moment they call, you hit the "END"button of your cell phone, mainly because you need to be in a certain mood to talk to them, or maybe theyr touch that wrong nerve (though, in my case there are hardly anyone with whom I am tempted to behave in this manner)
Then there are some whose numbers are imprinted in your memory in this manner, that you don't really need to save their number in your phonebook
And then there are your "Speed dial"friends. I have only 6 very close friends who are on my speed dial
And then there are some with whom you end up just "hmmming"most of the times. I don't know why, but conversations just dont' go anywhere beyond hmming in such cases
Some (read Indian) whom you happen to meet at the grocery store. End up conversing and ultimately exchanging phone numbers. But later, you never end up calling and they never do either. It has happened with me once, when I met someone named "Pooja" at Wal-Mart and unfortunately I stored her name as just Pooja only to realize that I have 6 other friends named Pooja, adding to my confusion. Espeically, coz I dont remember phone numbers.
And then there are some who don't even get to your 'list of contacts'. Don't ask me why. I am generally very frugal when it comes to storing numbers and avoid cluttering my phonebook;) Coz once in the phonebook, its hard to erase the contact
And those people who are in the Recent call history are the ones with whom I can talk to at any point of time. And generally, these days..its only them that I talk to and can talk for hours

And some with whom conversations seem to continue forever and you are still left wondering, whether it would last forever.........
[Don't you sometimes think, that this tiny piece of gadget is indeed your lifeline??]

A star close to the earth

2006-04-03T21:38:00.000-05:00

Today, had been to this place I had never been to in Downtown.
A few of us..the excutive committee members had an informal meeting with none other than the vice president of a multinational drug company!

It was an amazing experience. At a time when it is hard to sit through an hour class of Statistics, we were wondering how it will be to spend time with one big shot!

At the end of it, we looked at our watches to find that it was dinner that lasted for 3 straight hours. Filled with sharing experiences, smiling, laughing, eating and them drinking beer.

Incl him there were three guys and I being the only girl.

First, when we reached the restaurant, I was totally surprised to see him clad in jeans.

Secondly, when we reached inside..he amongst the other three guys was the one who pulled the chair out for the girl! Believe me, the guys were equally surprised at this.

No matter the age, chivalrousness is a quality in a guy thats sexy!

Later, he started asking us,how many years we had for our graduation. To which he said "Do not rush through it". Being graduate student is good!

I said "The grass is greener on the other side"
Later, I quipped "So whats good about being a student"

He said "Your dress! You can wear jeans. You can work wearign shorts.Thats good thing! I hate wearing that damn suit and working in the lab(when it is required)."

He also said that just to make fun of that formal attire, he wore totally non sensical Tie's that had Santa claus, a cat, Jingle bell etc on his tie!!!

Believe me you blush a million times, when a big shot such as him gives you a compliment that your smile can light up an entire room! I remember Nandya giving me this compliment a long time back!!

We decided to order some drinks and he and the other guys chilled out over a pitcher.

While me, the fool decided to try Irish coffee..not knowing what it was but still had heard a long time back from a friend that "Irish coffee, contains some coffeee, some whipped cream, some cinnamom, and some alcohol that gets evaporated after you flame them"

I ordered it.

The whipped cream made it even more tempting. The first sip and I went "Whack..thu"..like actually!
Still, I continued sipping through the damn thing just coz it would have been rude to not drink it.

I added 5 packets of sugar to it. Still the damn thing was bitter.

He saw it and said "Dont you like it?" I pretended to say that I liked it just that it was bitter.

He said "It is Irish coffee, alcohol and coffee.What do you expect"
I was like "Whoppsssssssss!! I narrated my view of an Irish coffee. They smiled and said "Irish coffee has alcohol in it and it does not evaporate and it stays"

I finally stopped sipping it and ordered a pepsi!!

After ordering appetizers, I already felt full and decided to skip the main course and ordered the dessert which was "Warm Caramel Bread Pudding"

It was yummiee and he said so too!! Before starting to eat, I just said "Would you like to dig in"? of course, I did not expect him to say yes but just coz he said it looked good, I asked it out of curiosity.

He said no.

The dinner was over and we were casually chatting.

He mentioned that he weighed 250 lbs as a high school kid and lost 70 lbs later. But it does not show on his body coz he exercises everyday. Believe me he looked handsome!

Totally amazing was when he mentioned his writing skills sucked.

We thought he was just being candid but then he totally blew us off when he said"Now, I want to try that dessert of yours"
:O
:O
I said "I am sure you are kidding again. I have eaten from it"

He said "So what. We all breathe the same air"

Never in my life has someone had that piece of dessert from my plate. I have always cut the slice into two and then eaten it.

Thats what I call "feet being firmly ground"

How many times, have you found someone sharing a piece of morsel from your plate? Although I have done it often times with my friends, but never with a person of his caliber"

I could not control from saying that "Your modesty speaks for itself"

To which, he said something that would echo on my mind forever
"When you are there at the top, you need to be modest, coz its really lonely up there"

"You need friends from different backgrounds, different nationalities, you got to remain friends with your high school friends. You need to establish network without severing of ties from the past"

This one evening made me reflect on so many things. That made me change so many of my perceptions. And I wished I would have known a lot more about that person!

In the end "Its not the altitude, its the attitude that maketh man"

Rimzhim gire saawan....

2006-03-30T15:15:00.000-06:00

I know am on a roll..

For days my blogs remain non-updated but then not everyday is nice to blog on!

So today, me just enjoyed one of the most nicest days in a long long time!

FInally the rainfall breath some life in my parched life.

Maybe its the effect of the weather or the new year (Today is Gudi Padwa..Marathi New year) or just ME!

So I thought, let me just cherish this moment, for as long as it lasts:)

Me and my friend went to the cafeteria for lunch. Thats when it struck me that I have missed going out for so long. Missed so many beautiful days. Hated rainfall coz it drenched my clothes.

I just wanted to let it go. Both of us, walked in the city for a long time, getting soaked in the pristine water thats cleansing my system!!

It just reminded me of "Marine Drive". Like it goes

"Kaale kaale badal jab bhi chayenge, woh din pyaare pyaare yaad aayenge"

I feel am a child again.

And I walked around the city..

And I got wet in the rainfall..

And I went outside..

And I want to eat samosas and

And I want to have one cutting chai

And I want to be on the beach

And the Mausam is mastana, the rasta is anjana, jaane kab kis mod pe ban jaaye koi afsana!!!

And like this song, which I listen to in this mausam:)

Raindrops keep falling on my head

but that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red

Crying's not for me,

cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complaining

because I'm free

nothing's worrying me

It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me

3 countries and 4 time zones yet so close

2006-03-29T12:17:00.000-06:00

For the info, read this recent post from Sayesha.

I am sure, I DO NOT have the patience to match up with Sayesha in terms of this longest post in the history of blogger:)

She has done a wonderful job on giving an ode to one of our coolest pals..Vikram

A very Happy birthday to you friend:)

As Sash (Singaporean angel) says..Virdi (Chennai lad) , ROS (Omaha gal), Viks (Typical banglorean and LA lad) are the 4 elements of Chatur Chaar (CC)

She has done an excellent work at writing the origin of the CC and also for the idea of sending a gift for Vikram.

Details plz refer Sayeshaz;)

However, this is my part of the story. These are few of the moments at Chatur chaar:)

In the beginning, when just me and Sayesha were friends and Vikram and I used to exchange emails seperately.

Suddenly, I was having this convo with Viks and Sayesha parallely when both of them pissed me off by saying something (as always):P

So this is what Sash says:

From: Raysofsun S Mailed-By: gmail.com

To: Sayesha sayeshaz@gmail.com

Ja mujhe na ab yaad aa tu..
udhar vik ke saath bhi jhagda ho raha hai

From: Sayesha Mailed-By: gmail.com

To: Raysofsun S

Achha tabhi mujhe ignore kiya?? Usko kitne dinon se jaanti hai? Mujhe kitne dinon se jaanti hai?? I'm sure 0.5 days more?

Dost dost na raha... pyaar pyaar na rahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......................

From: Sayesha sayeshaz@gmail.com

To: Raysofsun S

Arreeeee... baap re... ab tum dono teaming up against me?? Woh dimaag wala comment?? Arre yaar... I am sure he knows I was kidding.... bahut naatak karta hai yeah Karnataka

From: Raysofsun S Mailed-By: gmail.com

To: Sayesha

He says, we should conference. Tera yahoo id kya hai??

So this is how me , sayesha and vikram met:)

Until now, I had no interaction with Virdi whatsoever. I used to silently read his blogs about "Girls and Freindship", "Girls and Anger" and all girl gyaans. Based on his comments on Sayeshaz every single post by saying "A spit infested with virus on you", he really intimidated me. Until the time he posted a comment on one of my posts.

Then one fine day, we both exchanging emails and well on the first day itself, Virdi called me a "Khadoos ki aatma"

But, then all I knew was..he is helluva of a straighforward guy and totally adorable!

Somehow, we all started talking and exchanging emails. Right now, I was browsing through the 1395 emails that we have exchanged so far!! and dont know how exactly all the four of us got together!

I think thats the essence of friendship. You never can tell when you got close. Right now the chatur chaar is oxygen, air, eath and water. Totally essential for survival in this world that can drive anyone insane:)

Everyday, after I get back home from work, its heartening to see an email that goes like this!

From: Sayesha
Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: Bhavdeep Virdee
Cc: Vikram Kulkarni , Raysofsun S
Date: Dec 15, 2005 6:25 PM

Subject: Salaam Namaste

Salaam Namaste my dear listeners! This is your RJ live from Singapore!Good morning LA, good morning Omaha, good morning sleepy Madras...I'm back today, after a crazy crazy day at work, with four majormeetings! Thak gaye yaar! Lekin aaj Friday hai (at least for Popo andme) wooohooooooooooooooo! :D

I miss you guys today... wish we could all hang out somewhere man...

Sash

And sometimes, emails such as this:

From: Sayesha Mailed-By: gmail.comTo: Bhavdeep Virdee Cc: Vikram Kulkarni , Raysofsun S Date: Dec 15, 2005 6:27 PM

Viks tera toh har cheez ke saath beer ka hi combo hota hai! Apni shaadi ke mandap par baithkar beer piyega aur bolega shaadi aur beer,ultimate combo!

Arre naatak company kahan gayi aaj?? ROS?? O ROS! Kiththe hai baby? :)

And one fine day, a yawning Virdi will shoot an email saying

good morning amreeka... good maarning inga minga singa pore... why are we always pulling each others legs??? cant we just talk some sense sometimes??

From: Raysofsun S
Subject: Re: Koi hai??

I am tired of talking sense, analysing people and discussing science!

And one some of the days when things just dont look bright..an utter TP email chat between Virdi and Viks is enuf to bring a grin on face!

ok if this cheers you up..

an important CIA conversation between Agent Vikram and Agent Virdi :

Here me is Vikram!

Bhavdeep: oye hero
whats up/??
me: bol re...
kuch nahi re
Bhavdeep: bus hi bolna tha
now back to work
khi khi khi
selvar mani
Bhavdeep: she had no one but u to talk to Khi Khi Khi Khi Khi Khi
yehich bola main
operation narth
style kampleet sauth
me: style south.. operation complete north... khi khi khi
hehehe
mast hai bey
Bhavdeep: sarkaar yeh ek chokra hai. isko kuch kaam pe lagao. aapka toh bahut jaan pehchaan hai film industry mein.
me: hehe.. mein kisike kaam mein dakhal nahi deta
khi khi khi
Bhavdeep: doosron kekaam mein main dakhal andazi nahi karta
me: yehich bola mein isko
kya bola main!!
yehich bola main

Bhavdeep: olympic mein gold medel nkya bola thaa??

me: wolympic not olympic.. hehe

Bhavdeep: swamiji aap aabhi hare raama hare krishna karo. bahut jaldi mulakaat hone wala hai me: rashid.. isko clean bowled kar do.. direct heart mein maro ya brain mein sarkaar ko itna concession dena mangta

Bhavdeep: and tum aabhi dubai jao aur wahan sand ka gaddha khood ke us mein chup jao me: swamiji tumhara position safe hai full volume daalke hare rama hare krishna gao bohot jaldi meeting hone waali hai

Bhavdeep: coming to the point. kidhar maarna isko?? isko bahar leke jao. yehan mat maaro. rashid.. isko clean bowled kar do.. direct heart mein maro ya brain mein. sarkaar ko itna concession dena mangta. (THIS IS THE COMPLETE DIALOG)

jobless saaale

me: aapki baaton mein aaya.. mera greastessht mishtake

Bhavdeep: aapki baaton mein aaya.. mera greastessht mishtake"then he hits his hand on his head"

From: Sayesha
To: Raysofsun S
Cc: Bhavdeep Virdee , Vikram Kulkarni
Date: Mar 26, 2006 7:16 PM
Subject: Re: Ullus
Went to my favourite Cambodianrestaurant... yaar non-Indian vegetarian khana bhi itna tasty ho saktahai pata hi nahin tha! :P

Kal I watched Virasat. Wept 100 ml. Then did assignment

From: Raysofsun S

To: Sayesha
Cc: Bhavdeep Virdee , Vikram Kulkarni
Date: Mar 26, 2006 7:19 PM
Subject: Re: Ullus
HAhahhaa I read it as non-vegeterian indian khana itna tasti ho skata hai kya:O
and i was like...whoops!! maine suna hai desi non veg is tasty and yeh ladki kya bol rahee hai!
100 ml?? wht kind of figure is that:P

From: Sayesha
To: Raysofsun S
Cc: Bhavdeep Virdee , Vikram Kulkarni
Date: Mar 26, 2006 7:24 PM
Subject: Re: Ullus
100 ml aansu re... matlab agar saare aansu collect karke measuring cylinder mein daala hota toh lower meniscus 100 ml ko touch karta.Offo! :)

Overall, the four discuss everything about their lives! And whenever I read these emails, its sure to crack me up! Just like now as am typing this!

Bollywood, work, bosses, colleagues, clothes, food, vacations,music.

We know when Sayesha wakes up in S'pore, when she goes to the gym. When Vikram must be in a bar and when ROS should not be disturbed and when we need a hug:)

We are all poles apart as far as personality is concerned.

Sayesha:-the creative, talented and enthusiastic girl who is someone we all can relate to and would think as someone whom we have known for a long time!

Virdi: The senti and funny dude! with the most sexy voice. One guy who has heard me cry on the phone despite being seperated by 7 oceans.

Vikram: The Birthday boy

Few pointers about him:

Tall and good looking chap
Hilarious to the core
Who can say a lot of things but can never hurt anyone intentionally
Who not only likes music (esp Pink Floyd) but who also knows trivia that none else would probably know
Who according to me can practically survive on beer and vodka
Who cannot bear the girly nakhras but one who can totally understand you if you are down
And more than this which very few people on blogger would know

ROS: Thats me. Well, like a book that you think you have read but still cannot understand. One whom they love teasing and manaoing.

In all the Chatur chaar club is a health club:

Where you,

Laugh together..
Cry together
Play pranks
Exercise your brain cells to come up with one liners to pull each others legs
Lift each others spirits

Sometimes, people whom you haven't met and people who are seperated by miles bring joy unlimited!

So with this, we wish Vikram a happy 25th birthday! and am sure he is as happy as we are for all the cards that he got!

For the one, who did not believe in birthdays this is what he feels

GUYS!!,

I just got home and found a FedEx package lying next to my front door. I saw the sender is from Nebraska. I knew you guys were upto something. I feel so embarresed now. I reminded all of you of my birthday and you guys were forced to send something out to me. Sheesh.

Anyway, THANK YOU ALL for the wonderful handwritten messages. I'm touched to say the least. Noone has ever done anything like this before. All my friends don't care about my birthday and so do I about their birthdays. You guys made me feel so important. I have never felt like that before.

You guys are the best. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Love you guys. :)

Sayesha - My brain tells me it was your idea. Correct me if I'm wrong. I don't wish to take away the credit from Virdibhai or ROS.

Virdi Bhai - Arrey yaar, thank you for your letter in Hindi yaar. It's been close to ten years I read Hindi. Dil ko choo liya re. :)

ROS - What can I say? Born to irritate me? Hahaha. Bring it on babe. Apun always there to get angry at your "girly" comments. All that aside, thanks a lot re. Noone ever made me feel so special in life before. It feels a little weird but I like the feeling. I want to ride on the feeling even after my birthday is over. Hahaha :)

Anyway, you guys are too good re. I'll probably copy - paste this on my blog along with the pictures of all the wonderful, heart warming messages you sent.

Maan, I can't believe I got so freakin' emotional. Need to grab a beer. FAST.

Thanks again guys. You rock.

And so do you, dude!!

Like I always say, sometimes you dont believe in things until they happen to you:)

Making hell out of nothing at all

2006-03-27T20:54:00.000-06:00

There was this story amongst million stories that my mom used to narrate while I was really really small.

So there was this story about a rabbit which I used to hear from her. I dont know the whole narration but just write lines that probably is related to my life.

It turns out that a rabbit is a very coy animal by nature. A very shy and easily scared thing. So when a leaf fell on its back, the animal thinks that all hell broke loose.

It starts telling every animal it meets on the way that a thunderstorm is on its way!

It gets overwhelmed and in due course puts all the other animals under great stress.

I think I am like that rabbit now!

Not scared or shy but easily overwhelmed.

We all live in a stressful world but each one is equipped with a defense mechanism. I on the other hand revert into my shell.

And the most funny part is, at the crack of dawn when I think back..it seems worthless to have fret over something!

Like Sayesha's post sometime back where she mentions how she starts thinkin of that voicemail when she is in a Statistics class. Similarly, today when I was sitting in my statistics class, I got atleast 10 missed calls from my university. We get one common number (for privacy purposes), so was unable to tell who must have called.

There was a voicemail too.

I lost all my calm and kept thinking who must've called and why!

Maybe I messed up in lab. Maybe my grant has been reviewed and I have been awarded the fellowship, maybe someone in my university found out about my blog! and all sorts of things that I dont want to narrate here.

I just excused myself from the class to go listen to that voicemail and was relived that it was from a friend who needed a ride home:O

While driving back, I was wondering why exactly do such things bother me??

Some times things dont deserve a second thought! still I drain my energy over those insignificant aspects in life.

Things should probably not be so important that it makes you lose your balance in life!

This rabbit needs to know that a leaf is a leaf. And its weight is not too much for it to handle!

And thats the way it is

2006-03-23T20:29:00.000-06:00

OK! had a messed up day??

Why not make somebody else's day??

Sometimes, you dont have it your way

And you cannot have it that way

Ignore them if you may

You got to hang on, either way

See the ray, when things look grey!!

My Seven

2006-03-20T14:47:00.000-06:00

Omaha is snowed down so forced to being home!

Ah! how different it is to be home on a monday..and probably tuesday also.

Am a little jumpy and a restless cancerian who sometimes wants what she can't get. So right now my lab beckons me:O

Meanwhile, I was tagged by Rustic-Rhapsody long long time back. This is the first time the marvellous writer has tagged me to write my seven.

7 things I wanna do before I die ..

Get my PhD - Have spent the youth of my life in the lab and surely this is one goal for which I have given up a lot of things that I would not have otherwise.
Spend time with my family..meaning really spend some quality time.
Learn ball room dancing
To really see India..the bakwaters of Kerala, the Taj Mahal, Darjeeling, Assam
To learn a musical instrument
Relax..Dont' ask me what it is. But I really think someday I want to just relax! Eat the food that someone else cooks for me, get a head massage:D
To get married and have a cute little child..After all thats one thing everyone wants..I am no different:)

7 things I don’t enjoy doing ..

Cleaning up the mess that someone else makes
Waiting for someone..It is irritating to wait people who are not punctual or who don't respect someone else's time.
Talking to someone when I don't feel interested
Passing caustic remarks- I dont like doing it and hate if someone does that
Cutting vegetables:- As much as I love cooking, I totally dislike cutting veggies.Dont know why!
Thinking and making calculated moves before doing something that I really want to do. Kills the spontaineity.
Women who wear excessive perfumes as if they have showered with a bucketful of perfume.

7 things I say most often ..

Paka mat (Don't bore me)
Whatever
Oh God
Well...
How stupid
Hang on
Hi!

7 books I like:

Atlas Shrugged
The Alchemist
Wuthering Heights
Mill on the floss
Tuesdays with Morrie
Batatyachee chawl (Its a marathi book by PL Deshpande)
Different kinds of recipe books

7 english movies I can watch again and again ....

Serendipity ( There's some feel good factor about that movie)
Breakfast at Tiffany's
Sleepless in Seattle
Crash
Three to Tango
Notting Hill
You've got mail

7 hindi movies I can watch again and again ....

Dil Chahta Hai
Jo jeeta wohi sikandar
Golmaal
Qayamat se Qayamat Tak
Angoor
Baaton Baaton Mein
Dilwale dulhaniya le jaayenge

7 things that attracted me to blogging ..

Well..I would pass this one..Nothing really! just started writing one fine day! Now that I have started, there are few things I like doing. I think blogging is an interesting medium!! I have discovered so many things and came across so many nice people that I would not have otherwise!

To maintain a journal of small but significant things
To vent off
To share my happiness
To connect to people who have the slightest interest in my life!
For the photography such as Talwar
For the travelogue such as Hopscotch
For the food such as Onehotstove

Where else can you get everything at the click of a mouse!

7 pieces of music I enjoy .. ..

Really picky about music. Nothing particular but can't listen to everything that plays on the radio. Dislike heavy metal. Its soft rock for me. More than the band, I like some specific songs.

Micheal Learns to Rock- Thats my first love, ever since I knew what english music wasSo many songs that I love from this band. Right combination of slow and pop. "I am gonna love you to the end", "Somewhere'
Bryan Adams- There was a time when I used to listen to "Cloud # 9" "Summer of 69" "best of me" on the loop!
Savage Garden:- I think their "Affirmation"song has one of the most realistic lyrics, "I knew I loved you" has a subtle picturization
Shaan:- Too many to list. But totally romantic songs such as "Woh pehli baar jab hum mile" "Gumsum ho kyun" then "Tanha dil and Bhool Ja"
Kishore Kumar :- Most versatile singer, anything that he sings touches that nerve somewhere. Happy songs "Yeh shaam mastani" "Mere sapnon ki rani" or sad songs such as "Kahan tak yeh mann ko andhere chalenge" 'Aane wala pal" or romantic tunes such as "Neele neele ambar par" "Pal pal dil ke paas'. He is just different!
Sonu Nigam:- Apart from his good looks, he has a great voice! talented and full of life. First time, I saw him performing on the show of "Sa re ga ma" I think he is just cool. Few of his songs that I really like "Mujhe raat din-from the movie Sangharsh, "Meree Kahani", "Tu jahan" "Kal ho na ho"
Shreya Ghoshal:- i think her voice has freshness at the time when female singers only meant Lata mangeshkar and Asha Bhosle. Her voice is a welcome change! Really like few of her songs "Jadoo hai nasha hai", "Piyu Bole", "Suna suna (a rare song) from the movie Krishna Cottage, "Naam Ada likhna" (Courtesy:Sayesha for reminding me)
Jagjit Singh: Again too many songs to list. Totally like this song from Jogger's Park "Badi naazuk", "Shaam se ankhon mein", 'Apni marzi se kahan apne safar ke hum hain"

7 people I'm tagging ..

Hmm! Not sure who..Rajit and Apy are two new bloggers. Would like to know some about them.

Snooze n ring!

2006-03-16T11:49:00.000-06:00

Last night, I couldn't sleep.

Its different when you actually dont want to sleep or cannot sleep as opposed to "couldn't
sleep.

Its even difficult for someone, who the moment hits the sack departs to dreamland! I fall asleep almost instantaneously.

So I was actually getting frustrated.

I logged on the messenger. Did not find anyone to talk to. In fact the moment I switched on my computer I felt the urge of going back to my bed.

Kept turning and it was almost 3:00 AM.

I have three alarms set on my cell phone.

One that goes on at 6:45 AM, one at 7:00 AM and the other one at 7:15 AM which I snooze and finally wake up at 7:30.

I keep my cell phone towards my right hand side and I am used to having it over there!

Last night, I happened to keep the cell phone on the floor and I failed to listen to a SINGLE alarm. I did not hear a single ring and which resulted in my waking up at 9:15 AM.

Even then, I only got up listening to my sister's call.

Ironically, the ring tone of my alarm and that of a phone call are the SAME.

Even then, I have yet to figure out, what makes me lift the phone even when I am in Stage 3 and State 4 sleep (which is considered to be the deepest stage of sleep cycle for a human being) and completely ignore the alarm. How does my mind differentiate between a ringing phone and an alarm!

Maybe coz I changed the location of the phone and maybe we are so used to associating a thing to the place where it belongs!!

Medley of colors

2006-03-14T22:13:00.000-06:00

HOLI-The Festival of colors!!!

Just another festival that brings together people from different cultures together!

This festival has always bought sweet memories associated with Kalyan (the place where I live). We used to have holi celebrations in our society.

The house smelled off sweets such as Puran-polis and naral polis (Rotis made out of cocunut).

Every year my cousins used to come at our place to celebrate this festival.

At that time, I hated playing with colors but loved playing with water filled baloons.

On one such occassion, I had recovered from chicken-pox, so doctor had advised me not to play.

Much against mom's wishes, I coaxed her into letting me play with water only.

Mumbai guys were notorious in that way! I shuddered looking at them play with oil-paints and mud water. Yuck!!!!

All of us (in sixth or seventh grade) used to lock ourselves on the terrace so that no 'bad-guys" would be able to come and color us. Meanwhile, we enjoyed throwing baloons at them!!

We were mean sometimes!

I used to jump with joy if the water filled baloon hit someone on the face or on the back. It was equally annoying to see someone throw baloons at old people and little kids.

We took care to hit baloons only on college boys or men :)))

Things changed once I came to US. I thought, there would be no festivals. Forget colors.

Nothing is going to be the same anymore.

But, I was wrong!

We played holi just the way it should be played.

Last saturday, we had a Holi bash here.

Pics have been edited for privacy issues:))

There were

COLORS AND THERE WERE INDIANS:

AND THEN THERE WERE AMERICANS TOO: (Dont we all look the same now)

THERE WAS DANCE TOO.

It was amazing to see the amroos dance to "Kajra re". Thats why they say, music knows no language.

AND THEN THERE WAS FOOD: Although, I dont think I can ever make Puran polis..the way I have always eaten..I made this dessert that goes by the name of Shahi-tukde. Don't know how it tasted, coz it was over even before I got to it!

And then there was chaat and eating the food together while sitting on the grass!

No wonder, barbeques are more popular than banquet dinners!

There is some kind of innate pleasure in sitting together and eating in this manner.

For the first time, I saw some amroos eating with their fingers (except for when they eat burgers and burritos) . None asked for fork, knifes and paper towels.

Its nice to see people adapting to each other's culture and just being a part of them!

One guy even asked me "I dont know how to apply this color. DO you apply it to the cheek or do you apply it to the hair"?? "I like green color. Please apply some green color on me".

One guy even said 'Are you guys always happy and enjoying life like this"

I obviously had no answer to that. And I wish it was always that way. But, I thought it was nice to project your culture in this manner to someone who was not totally aware of how things function in your country!

Lastly, I think festivals are just a medium to bring together people when they are busy doing things of their own. Maybe sometimes, we do things coz we have always been doing it that way. Festivals might not always mean the same for different people. But, neverthless, festivals make us realize that we belong!!!

Colors are always the same...even if the soil is different!

********HAPPY HOLI GUYS*******

A Journey with Mr. Gazer

2006-03-08T22:25:00.000-06:00

And Virdi this one is for you.....

There's just this little thing that happened with me almost 4 years back and which I comfortably forgot until one day me and Virdi talked about it.
************************************************************************
You would know if you have watched this movie "Baaton Baaton Mein'.

There's a scene in that movie , where Amol Palekar sees Tina Munim for the first time in a local train. They are fellow passengers in a 9:10 AM local train.

They continue meeting each other in the train, he starts painting her picture (in form of a cartoon). In the beginning its just the eye flirting..and aankhon hi aankhon mein ishara..until one of them musters the courage and goes approaches the girl! From there the story kicks on!!
**************************************************************************
OK! the bottom line is..people who travel in public transport have a very interesting life!

They always meet the same people if they are loyal to one train or bus.

When I was pursuing my M.Pharm, me and my best friend travelled in the same 6:10 AM local from Kalyan to Kurla semi-fast train every single day.

One who has lived in Bombay can understand the importance of travelling via the same train every single day!

These train timings for a Mumbaiyya are like lifelines of every person!

People generally dont like missing out on their favourite train!

*****************************************************************

The scene:

And..I hated missing out on that 6:10 AM local.

For the first time in my life, I got to travel in a first class compartment. The price that we paid for getting into a first class was good enough for standing comfortably for 45 minutes coz the ladies compartment was real tiny with a max seating capacity of 15-20 odd ladies!

So this ladies compartment had a small window through which a couple of guys and girls can exchange glances!

Rightly, this guys compartment was called as "video coach"

Now, I must confess, few men who travelled by this first class gents compartment were college goers and some very good looking office goers!!

There was this particular guy who caught my attention. The guy was one decent-looking office goer. From his looks he did look like a marathi (not that it mattered). Not very good looking but looked really well mannered. Ironed clothes and a nice briefcase in his hand.

Scene before arrival of the train:

He also boarded the train at Kalyan and was accompanied by a friend too.

Me and my friend. Him and his friend.

We had this strange "gazing session'going on for atleast 15 mins prior to the arrival of train.

The four of us always stood below this particular clock on platform # 3 near middle class ladies compartment.

Scene after getting inside the train:

Now, the train arrived and we used to find our way to get inside the train and secure a good seat. Kalyan being the starting point, we could manage and get a comfortable seat if not the window. And who wanted the window seat anyways;)

Here is the catch: Both Mr. Gazer and his friend stood at the "small window" that seperated them from the ladies compartment.

The men did have enough room to accomodate atleast 35 people. But these guys never bothered to sit!

All they did was to stand in that spot, talk to each other, read the morning newspaper and alight!

Meanwhile, me and my friend sat exactly opposite to them. Talked a lot. Studied some.

On the way:

So all the time while we travelled I would see that Mr. Gazer stealthily looked in our direction and the moment I looked, he would shy away! My friend never had the guts to look at any guy;)

He would get down at Mulund (A station, mid-way between Kalyan and Kurla).

Every day this scene continued for few months!!!!

After a while, when one day both of us were standing on the platform, we exchanged some glances. I would just think.."Why doesn't he come and talk"!! But well, when was the last time guys in my life actually got what was on my mind:P

*******************************************************************

The problem:

Well, if it would have been now..I wouldnt have mind to go and talk to the guy on my own. But, I really was a shy girl once upon a time.

And the main problem was, me and my friend were never able to tell out of the two of us, whom he was interested in???

Let me admit, my friend is very pretty and charming..so well, I did not want to just assume things and build castles in the air.

This went on for 6 months during which the scene was the same!

On the station-in the train-mulund-kurla and back. On our way back home, we never bumped into each other ever!!

After a while, we just gave up the possibility of the guy approaching either of us and we thought he was probably married:D

**********************************************************************

The scence after:

I quit my M.Pharm, as I got a PhD offer then.

The day I got my visa, I went to submit my resignation.

Unfortunately, I missed my 6:10 local.

Needless to say, I felt sad, coz I was flying to US after a short while and lots of things had to be taken care of. I knew we would never see each other later.

Back here:

I flew to US and time flew too.

She is the same friend, who wrote letters to me here.

In one of her letters she mentioned "After you were gone, HE approached me in the same train, asking me about you. Since he did not see you with me anymore, he wondered where you were. I told him, that you were no more a Kalyankar..but have flown to US"

That was all. Finally, I was convinced that he indeed was looking at me. It was not a figment of my imagination. But, he approached me a little too late.

Wish things sometimes happened when you anticipate them to.

No wonder, the letter from my friend lit me up but the light slowly diffused and could not reach the place where it first ignited:(

Nevertheless, it was a memorable train journey ever. Even now, Kalyan platform # 3 brings back fond memories. I know, I will never ever take that 6:10 train.

Sometimes,'Ankhon hi ankhon mein ishara ends up being a mere ishara"

Heave of sigh

2006-03-03T13:04:00.000-06:00

Finally, everything has been taken care of..(for the time being)

So how has my three months gone by:-

On the flip side:-

Lots of negative energy. Few accomplishments and a lot of whining.

Plenty of deadlines and lot of unrecognized effort. You know, how one feels that the credit that he deserves is taken away from him??

At the end of it..I think its all happened for a reason.

On the kitchen front

Ms. ROS has lost one pound!!

Thanks to all the bahar ka frozen khana and Maggi that I have managed to gulp down my throat. Swear! have never eaten so much of frozen food during the entire time that I have lived here..I think now I cannot stand Maggi for atleast a couple of months!!! The same happened with my roomies in Shreveport..where Rajma and Chole were made genereously, such that I have never bought a single can of Rajma for almost 2 years now. This time around its "Pulav" I think I have enjoyed my days under the sun with pulao and am done with that!!!

Thanks to a wonderful friend, I am regaining my lost interest in cooking...Will churn up something new sometime soon.

Weekend Junket

Screwed up gym schedule. Screwed up social life. Life for me on the weekend has been to blast music and work in the lab..Like the voicemail someone left me few days back "What the hell are you doing in the lab on a saturday"..Hahahah if I think back..nothing really!!

On the sweeter side:

Realized that there are too many nice people who wished well for me. Who thought and prayed for me every single day. Especially Thanu! Can never thank her enough. Keep bugging her every single day!!!
My chatur chaar, Sudeep and wolf2181, Puneet, for always prepping me up in a way or other!!

Three of the people I know---

My cousin for one..delivered a baby boy today. Remember where I had started a poll deciding what name should they give him?? Finally, the boy has been named NEEL..Yeah! just the name I wanted to give my son!!!!! I thank them for not naming him Neal [damn the Neal and Nikki]
My building friend, Sheetal, whom I have known since I was born..[she is 2 years older than me] delivered a baby boy!
My childhood friend Ashi, delivered a baby girl as well.

Isnt it beautiful?News such as this..makes life so worthwhile! Its especially harder to imagine people whom you have grown up with to bear babies!

Sheetal has been one person who would say "babies are good as long as they play and smile. When they cry, you just wanna give them back to their moms"

Like in the case of my childhood friend..I emailed her hubby and said (edited version and fictional names) "It would be quite a delight to see the wonderful transformation of Ashi from a girl to a mom" To which he replies "You are mistaken...Ashi is still a kid and now I have to take care of two babies"

HAHAHAHAHA. I find such hubbies adorable! Who love a little bit of childishness in their wives!

For the next four days, life is going to be less stressful. So here I begin an effort to revamp myself again. Two days of lab-free days!!

As seen from above the good points outweigh the bad points! yeay..I am still good:-) My life ain't that bad:O

4 or is it more

2006-03-01T10:05:00.000-06:00

I zabardasti made Thanu tag me with High-5.
The thing is, apart from loving tags, I think these days there is just one thought hovering in my mind and I find ir boring to blog about that every waking day of my life!
My work life stress, that is!
Today, my boss is away so letting myself go for a bit!

Neways, so here goes

4 Jobs that I have had :

I have always been a bekaar (jobless). Thats a fact! I have never worked in an industry.
If scholarships count then I have had three.
If being a Teaching Assistant counts
If being a Research Assistant counts

Here am done with 4..Lolz!!

Jobs that left me:

Please refer above:P

4 Movies I can recommend to anyone: Big fan of comedy movies and Amol Palekar. All these movies, I must have watched 25 plus times. There was a time, when I would play either of these movies before I left for exams. Sad, they dont make such movies anymore:(

Chupke-chupke [Love that scene where Dharmendra speaks in English]
Jaane bhi do yaaron [The Mahabharat scene rocks]
Golmaal [Utpal Dutt and Amol Palekar..lethal combo]
Padosan [Kishore Kumar. Amazing is the word. Love ek chatur naar]

4 Places I've lived or linger in my memory: Havent lived in many places, but--

Mumbai
Shreveport, Louisiana
The terrace above my best friends apartment in Kalyan [Have shared all the pages of my life's chapter just strolling over there on a moonlit night]

4 TV shows I will remember: Aah many. Will make a seperate post out of it. The days of now endangered DD. The days before Ekta Kapoor made all those prime hours painful. The days when hindi serials rocked.

Surabhi [Remember the classic Renuka Shahane smile? An awesome Indian travelogue]
Dekh Bhai Dekh [Loved it when Chachi said "Somu re..Tere munh mein keede tere munh mein dhool]
Sailaab [Yes! Big fan of Renuka Shahane's serials. Ever heard the title track sung by Jagjit Singh??]
Chaal navachi vachal wasti [A marathi serial that dealt with the life of a regular life of an individual who lived in chawls. The neighborhood bantering and the problems. Wonderful serial made by Sai Paranjpe]

4.Vacations I will always remember:

Miami [My first vacation in US]
Summer Vacations during school time. When we would set off to any place and not care of time constraints.
Kanyakumari [The most amazing place I have ever seen]
East-coast trip [NY, NJ and DC]

4 Foods I love:

Big fan of Mumbai food. Indian-chinese, ragda patties, pav bhaji and batata wada.
Dosa-sambar-chutney
Dishes that have paneer
Puran Poli [A Maharashtrian delicacy made out of jaggery and dals. Eat it with dollops of ghee. Amazing]

4.Places I'd rather be: People make the place. So all these places with...people with whom I wanna be with.

On streets of Mumbai [Marine drive or Band stand with my junta back home]
Venice [Holidaying with Thanu;)]
Singapore [Only if Id known Sayesha last Summer]
In my house [With my sister, chatting away to glory and drinking chai]

Tagging: Sayesha [I know she aint gonna do it. But, if I dont tag her she gets disappointed also:P]

Jeenu

Pradyot

Bhole

Please press ENTER

2006-02-28T19:54:00.000-06:00

Out of many keys on the keyboard, the ENTER key is probably the most useful key.

I might be sounding very abstract over here but since its my blog, I think none other than me would be able to understand the thought process behind the words.

Have you ever experienced

Hitting the ENTER key to an email that was not meant for the addressee in the "To" section??
Hitting ENTER and sending off an email that you wish you never had sent?
You hit ENTER and find a visibly excited you gushing with joy after submmiting an online article and completing a deadline??
You hit ENTER while running a statistics and realize that your entire seminar might be torn apart by that one result you got which sits coolly on the 42nd slide out of 45 slides of the seminar??

Guess that one ENTER key is the key to my happiness right now.

Yes! sometimes life brings you to an important threshold where its only one thing that sums up everything!

P.S:- Sorry I was unable to reply to the comments on my previous section. Will get back soon!

I am getting the shivers!

2006-02-24T17:19:00.000-06:00

So just one more responsibility to take care of and I will be a free bird ..OK! for a while;)

Have this huge seminar to give. My research presentation.

Irony of life: Just when you need things to work for you, it doesn't. Things on which you bank on ditch you at the last moment. You want to solve problems and some new problem arises.

Sheesh!!

One week to go and not even a single slide ready:O

Experiments are on.

You know your stuff but then its research, things get interwined to such an extent that you almost feel like a spider stuck in a cobweb!

Anyways, me and public speaking dont go well.

Any one to one convo, I can beat you to that:D

Telephonic convo..anyday but talking in front of room full of prying eyes who are ready to pounce on one small mistake..aah! not a good idea..

Icing on the cake: My Rajdhani Express talking speed:(

During the first seminar that I ever presented in the US, I finished 55 slides in shocking 35 minutes straight!!

Every person who attended the seminar had a comment that said "You had a lot to say. Would have been nice if you would have paced your talk well"

One prof said "Americans dont understand when you speak fast. Go slow. One word at each time. Pause."

OK! In my second seminar, I managed to maintain a good flow by sipping water after every 10 minutes. One glimpse at the watch. Sip water. Again talk.

It worked!
But, its been more than a year since I gave a talk and I am scared! In fact each time I look at my data, I get goosebumps!

My heart starts pounding and I get cold..

Damn! Public speaking is an art and I know I suck:(

All in good spirit

2006-02-23T13:11:00.000-06:00

A conversation:

Me and one of my friends Adam were having a banter.
This is an excerpt of that convo which said it all.

He commented over something that I said,

Me: Oh! so you think whatever I spoke made sense, huh?
Him: Yeah! I think so. You talk sense
Me: Glad that you agree:))
Him: Never mind! Don't women take pride in thinking that they talk sense?
Me: OK! so give me one word that sums up the entire women clan
Him: COMPLICATED!
Me:Oh! Adam, you DO know so much about women!
To which two female secretaries added
"Its a wise answer, Adam. It will keep you happy for the rest of your life"

I thought it was wise of me to just walk away;)

Agreed, women are complicated.

But, who likes an easy life, anyways:P

It is as evanescent as this!

2006-02-20T15:41:00.000-06:00

Have you experienced something really ecstasic in life? Something that was making you feel that your life is worthwhile. Be it an event, an accomplishment, a friend, a partner or anything that makes you believe that "Alright, these things can happen. Aisa bhi hota hai"!

When you are almost flowing with the tune and refuse to go and check your notes.

Living for the moment and celebrating something called as Life! Something that breathes an air of freshness.

It is almost equivalent to this phenomenon that I call as "Happiness Bubble"

Like in this pic, the child is so happy to see those tiny soap bubbles in the air. As a child, I was fascinated with this tiny and circular bubbles that floated freely in the air! You want to hold it in your hands, feel it in your palms. You want to keep it forever!

So much is the magic of these little bubbles that you believe what you see.

They come in all sizes. Some tiny and ephemeral and some larger and maybe last for a longer duration.

In the end, irresepective of shape and size, they are evanescent. They DISAPPEAR.

Thats when the "Happiness bubble breaks"

It happens in a time even when you are busy relishing the sight it produced few seconds back!

Its afterall a bubble. It has no solid foundation. Most of the times, its a figment of our perception, when we become more ambitious and expect that the bubble lasts just a little longer!

Hamaree Pathshala

2006-02-16T15:40:00.000-06:00

I am taking a class in Statistics after a gap of one year!
Needless to say it is plain boring and I hate it, especially coz it is in the evening twice a week.
So this was a Yahoo conversation between a friend of mine and me few days back.

Me: (1/18/2006 3:34:48 PM): mujhe class ko nahi jaana
Friend: (1/18/2006 3:34:54 PM): shut up and go
Friend (1/18/2006 3:35:05 PM): behave like a big girl
Me; (1/18/2006 3:35:41 PM): jaana to hoga..
Me (1/18/2006 3:35:43 PM): :((
Friend (1/18/2006 3:35:57 PM): call me after u get done

This is my state of mind almost everytime I go to the class!

This stats lesson is the second of the two parts we are required to take. Things were very different in both these parts!

Apart from the Professor even the students are not the same.
On the first day of my class, I entered a class full of 5 students!! Thats all!

Not one familiar face!

Out of the 6 students including myself, there are three girls and two guys and one another guy.[I have a reason why I am mentioning that guy as 'one another guy"] Read on..

The two guys are plain boring. Have you seen guys who have a frown on their face? whose face is as plain as a starched shirt!

I dint bother to smile at them after that!

So well then another "person"walked inside the class, with hair that reached the back, curly and thick! and a face so cute! and wearing a nice heavy jacket and sat comfortably on the chair tying the hair with a rubberband!

I started staring at the person continuously. Quite unusual for me to do that! I was trying to place him. Are isko pehle kaheen dekha hai types! and I think the person noticed it and was quick to retort, "Hi! I was the guy who sat in the first bench last year. Only thing is I have grown my hair long"

I was embarrased!

Next, there is this girl who moved from Santacruz, California!
Well, again quite unusual of me but I ran into a misunderstanding with her.

We decided to meet up for working on an assignment at 6:30 AM on one of the days!

Well, I know it was bad on my part..but being a late night person..I overslept only to find out that I got up at 7:30 AM.

Worse, I did not inform her or apologize to her.

2 days later, in the class..she blasted out at me.

Well, I have a huge problem with going and confronting to somebody, so kept my mouth shut and called her back later!

That was that.

So right now, my stats class is as boring as can be.

I miss that 65 year old army veteran who took the class with me last year! He retired from military and wanted to become a teacher. It was a time well spent interacting with someone his age. Someone who has been in a noble profession. Has done his bit for the Country, has accomplished something in life. A satisfied life. But, someone who still has aspirations. Someone who still relates to a person atleast 40 years younger!

They make great conversationalists!

I think we all need a friend who is so experienced in life!

The other was a Russian friend of mine. The guy was amazing! Wore a proper mink coat and drove a BMW Z6 convertible and who gave me a lift from my school to that campus..and it was amazing to get off from a swanky car:).

Funny, he used to narrate all unbelievable stories that dealt with how he dated a beauty queen in Russia!

For every help that I offered with the assignment, he treated me to "Baklawa"

Coming from that environment, this one is so unconducible:(

I miss those folks!!

After all a classroom is more about classmates than about the class!

The Dev Anand song going on the background is reflective of this thought:

Jeevan ke safar mein rahee,

milte hain bichad jaaneko,

aur de jaate hain yaadein

tanhayee mein tadpaneko!

P.S:Whoa! finally managed to post this one after a month!! and believe me the feeling about this class still remains unchanged:(

Life is all about Moments!

2006-02-12T15:40:00.000-06:00

Guys! am here..alive and kicking!

Sorry I have been in my own world for the past couple of days and I have realized that my world-inside aint that bad:)

Suddenly, life brings you to a point where in the happenings just dont cease to amaze you.

You end up doing things that you never thought you would do and on the other side, you end up not doing things that you have always done.

For example: In my life, I usually have enough room to accomodate a little of everything. Blogs, friends, emails, phones, coffee and of course work squeezed in between.

But, off late..blog, friends and phones have drastically reduced.

If I have the time, I dont have the enthu and if I do have the enthu wherein tons of thoughts are scrambled across the brain, I am unable to pen it down.

Words somehow dont do justice to whats going on deeper. For, words have no meaning, there's no road ahead!

I always believe that you might share a lot about you with someone..a friend, a confidante! but there are certain special things going on in your life that talking about it diminutes its significance!

At times when that supersitious side of your personality surfaces.Talking about it makes you feel that it might not last forever. When you share 99% of yourself with someone, there's this 0.5% that will always go with you to the grave, and the other 0.5% is something thats a private haven within yourself where there is a huge "NO ENTRY"sign and an area where even YOU are an intruder.

These are just few totally fragmented thoughts on a lazy sunday afternoon. Where ROS is left awed at something and she has departed to her own secret world, previously unknown to her too:O

P.S:- Those who know me, will probably make sense of this post, others dont worry..I am not sad or emotional while am writing this post! but maybe so happy that finally I have started believing in few things that I previously did not.

Maybe its as ephemeral as a tiny dew drop, but its as glistening as that dew drop:)

Hell, after all isnt life supposed to about moments that take your breath away!!

I am a kid...so what..I know my basics!

2006-02-07T17:20:00.000-06:00

The age 3 is I think an age of discovery for toddlers.

I think, I share a special bond with kids of this age!

My Aryan and my niece here.

They both add a lot of joy in my life!

I have spent an entire week with my niece here and needless to say she rocks!

Few lessons she has taught me:

Its OK to be wild at times: Her dad had gone somewhere for a while and she did not get to see many ppl around at that time. When she saw me, she jumped up and down, acted crazy and wierd. It was an amazing site to see a kid being so excited after seeing someone. [Isnt it exciting to just let your hair down for a while?]
No matter how hard you work, you can take it easy on friday nights: She sleeps early every night. But somehow, she can sense its friday night and there she demands to watch "Charlie's Chocolate Factory" with the remote in her hand:O [No matter how pathetic your week was. Isnt friday night supposed to mean "An end to routine"]
You want, what you want: I happened to bring Tiramisu and needless to say, I can finish it all up on my own. She insisted "Mommie, but I want a lollipop" Mommie says "But, this is nice..just have the cream". "But, I want a lollipop, mommie" Mommie says "Okie, you can have it but first finish your milk" [With the hope that she will forget it as the night proceeds]. After an hour "Mommie, now can I have my lollipop!![No matter how many nicer things come along, there are things that we cannot and should not compromise on. Or sometimes, we wish to have things that we cannot have. Or sometimes, no matter how much time passes, you dont forget things]
Some questions have no answers: As soon as I used to go home, she would be on my lap. Mausi, just play with me. We played for a while. "Okie, baby, Mausi is tired. "But I am not tired". Again play for half hour. "I am tired"..the kid again says "But I am not tired" Take her on my shoulders and to her room. The kid now says "I will ask mommie to do it for me. "But, mommie can't do it, mommie has a baby". The kid says "So, why don't you have a baby":O:O [There is no point in explaining answers to someone who would probably never get it. Just smile away]
A girl is aware of the concept of "Prince Charmin"even in formative years:

This one is ultimate. Yesterday, she took me to her playhouse. She had two dolls. One girl whom she calls (Cinderella) and the other is (Prince Charming).

So I ask her "So you call her Cinderella, do you know Cinderella story"?

She says "Yes, I do"

Me: Then tell me the story

She: No, you tell me

Me:I dont know the story.

She: My mommie knows it. My daddy knows it. I know it. You don't know it??[With a puzzled look]

I was zapped!

[There are certain things that everyone is SUPPOSED to know]

She still goes ahead and tells me the story handing the Prince Charmin (PC) in my hands and Cinderella lies with her.

She gives instructions that they both should dance now.

She: Ask PC to ask for Cindy's hands

Me: Why are they supposed to hold hands??

She: Coz they are dancing

Me:WOW. And why can't Cindy ask for PC's hands??

She: Coz she is a girl.

Me:Double WOW!OK! And who is PC?

She of course! was not able to answer it. But, out of so many toys she just calls him as PC. [A girl may not always know how her PC will be and why she calls him as PC. But, she knows who cannot be her PC]

Kids give you an aswer that triggers a conncetion somewhere. Age sometimes doesnt matter:)

Sandese aate hain

2006-02-05T04:17:00.000-06:00

The Saturday rocked!

Plenty of things came to my mind. Insights. Plannings.

One of my friends came back from Bombay last night. As usual, just when some of our friends go and return back, we are eagerly waiting for our goodies. No matter even if it is a small rubber band packet. We look at the bags with eagle eyes!!

So, this time again my sis sent me some stuff and the more I think about it..the more silent tears I shed.

She doesn't miss an opportunity to make me feel special. Be it this

1. Magnet: Which I specifically asked my Jeeju to bring for me from Germany.His remembering to bring it for me and my sis sending it to me is certainly special. The reason being; My sis is a die hard fan of Hitler! No not coz of his deeds but coz of his impressive personality. She ended up reading a lot more about Hitler's Germany and we would have heated discussions about that when we were growing up. This was almost 10 years back when I expressed that, if at all someone went to germany, I would ask them to get a magnet for me. I forgot about it 10 years down the line but she did not! When we used to fight, I addressed her as 'Lady Hilter"

2. Letters: Yep! each time she sends something for me through someone, she writes pages and pages of letters. As if words are flowing naturally. She does not express that much on the phone or email as much as she does with a pen in her hand! While, I was in US at the time she was pregnant, it was almost like I was experiencing it coz of the way she narrated each incidence of her pregnancy in her letters. I even have letters that mentions about the first time Aryan kicked her inside her stomach, or the first time she experienced his movement! No wonder I almost feel like I am Aryan's second mother. These letters serve as vent for me to cry just when I think I have no reason to cry!

3. These Clothes:

No amount of shopping beats the joy that I derive out of the awesome Salwar kameezes that my sis picks for me. Trendy and pretty. Those 2-3 dresses that she sends for me makes up for the entire years shopping.I just have to demand and she finds the exact color and exact size for me! And She is the only one who knows what looks good on me.

4. Lastly, this calendar with my city's name on it! That makes me feel at home. Each year she makes sure to send me a marathi calendar. Not that I follow it diligently, but since its important for me to know certain days for some rituals that are not available on english calendars.

No wonder how far I fly, my sis will make sure that I dont fly too high:)

Lastly, watched Rang De Basanti!

Details, hopefully in the next post!

As of now..me happy to have people who care:)

Its just a name

2006-02-03T09:40:00.000-06:00

Ha! Sayesha we both rock yaar. Had this post written in bits and pieces in my draft folders and is ready to be posted now!

My cousin is pregnant and just like any othe pregnancy, deciding a name is the most exciting part.

Naah! dont worry me not writing a letter to the boy, Sayesha:P

So, basically everyone in my cousins's house has a name starting with the letter "Sh"

In fact, even her bhabhi's have their names beginning with Sh..

She is going to be a mother of a baby boy and we were thinking of coming up with names that are not complicated and are modern.

Aryan is already taken by my nephew:P

So there arent many nice names around:)) Ok..there are a few...

So well, I have this notion that just like various gift options, even when it comes to names you have far more varities for baby girls.

For example: If you want something really traditional, a girl can have a name "Aishwarya" which is sooooo common in India..

Want to make it sound modern-n comes Ash and if you want that to be more family-oriented..everyone will start calling her "Aishu"

In America, I know 3 girls whose names are "Esha" or "Isha" all of them play with each other and it gets confusing when they are together. So I call them Isha 1, 2 and 3

Third most common name being "Riya" or "Ria"

Neverthless, girl names are still more interesting..Ok guys! am sorry but accept it...girls always have more options:P

So I tried to ask my "Chatur chaar" as to what names they can come up with.

Hahaha..only Vikram can come up with a name like "Speilberg", "Rafasti Gulfut",

And only Virdi can come up with names such as "Chima Lal Charlie" but he also suggested a name "Akhilesh"

Overall, Sayesha had good names to come up with, like "Ujwal, Eshan and Pranav"

And I know three people with that name.

Waise, I had few suggestions too. Names that sound modern and which are easy on american tongues as well and are not very common. In anyways if you keep a centimeter length name it gets abbreviated.

Rohit, Rahul, Anand are quite common and short n sweet too. But, kinda overused in Bollywood.

Nikhil, Aditya and Amit are extremely common marathi names.

Neel being one.But my son is going to be called "Neel" if and when and whether I have a guy child is beyond discussion over here:D Then comes "Pradyot", "Aarush" and "Ayush"

Ya, they would say "Whats in a name"? But isnt your name your "identity"?

And I am still hoping to come across a name which we can possibly address the little one as.

Any suggestions??

Hands that comfort

2006-01-31T14:50:00.000-06:00

I hate to leave my blogs on sad note, so this is something that I just read somewhere and thought it was the nicest things, I have heard in a long time!

"Do u know y GOD created gaps between our fingers? so that somebody can hold our hands, fill the gaps AND be with us FOREVER!!"

Jagjit Singh, immortalizes the thought by these words

"Haath chute bhi to rishte nahin chora karte
waqt ki shaakh se lamhe nahin tora karte"

Which means "It does not matter if physical bonds break, the memories are everlasting"

When I first came to this Country , no wonder there was a culture shock. And one amongst that was seeing couples kiss openly. Of course! I did see quite a lot of things in Bombay but also saw policemen chasing away those poor lovers cuddled up on the beach.

Sorry for the digression:P

But, on of the ocassions, me and one of my Amroo friends were walking and we saw a couple holding hands casually and walking. Though, it was a normal sight to see, but there was something really special about that.

Thats when she said " Americans dont mind kissing, we do it all the time, but when you see a guy holding his girl's hands in that manner, it surely means that it is not just one of those transient affairs"

I was amazed at that revelation. And it only made sense after that.

Many a times, it is not even the remarkable chemistry that is evident amongst the couple, but you can tell a lot about the relationship just the way they hold each other.

A kiss can be misleading, and might signify passion and sometimes people do it without thinking much. But, when was the last time you actually held hands like that??

It signifies a bonding. An invisible thread that binds two people.

It is not just between lovers but even amongst friends.

We all never receive Oscars everyday, but everyone of us deserves an award in form a a friendly hug or a peck:)

I do not recollect a time in a long time now when someone has held my hands saying "Its all going to be OK":) Guess thats what makes it so precious, coz you dont get it everyday!

Yet again, a short post!

'

A sad day of this year

2006-01-29T23:02:00.000-06:00

Today had a relaxing day after a long time.

Actually, my blogs have become more of a personal journal, I guess coz it doesnt' matter if people have something to comment or not.

Its actually my words echoing in space!

I have no capacity to rake hidden reservoirs of previous memories coz I guess the present itself keeps me focussed.

Well, anyways, a sad news kept me awake the whole of last night. Thankfully, I have this friend of mine [The 4 AM kinda friend as refered to by Sayesha]. Just when I looked at my watch, I was wondering whom to call, coz it was almost close the dawn of Sunday. Just then, I got an SMS from him and it made the night easier for me to bear.

Sometimes, I wonder at the power of friendship. Some people are just there when you need them and at times people are never there when you need them.

Moreso, why I believe it is so important for one to have a friend who has seen you grow up!

So today, I decided to let it go for a while. Finished up my assignment last night and did not work on my paper or any studies the whole of sunday. After all, there is no need to pretend that you can work when your mind is wandering in the meadows. Its almost like wearing a California sweatshirt in Nebraska and thinking that you are warm!

You know you got to bear it.

Thats when I thought, let me get back to my life. Have turned my back for a long time. Draining my energy out.

Got into my car and wondered into the city by myself and landed into Barnes & Nobles and somehow as if it was a sign, my eyes fell on a copy of "Bhagvad Gita", just bought that and came home!

So beginning saturday, my life is taking a small turn, beginning with watching "Rang de Basanti" and to start off with "Table Tennis" and "Aerobics Training"

Guess, to take a leap you have to start off with small baby steps!

Anyhow, despite all that efforts to steer back to life, there are people who consciously remind me of having whiled away my time today by doing arbit stuff. Funny, coz I dont need any permission to take away one day out of my life!

Hopefully, I will sustain.

Wishes for the moment

2006-01-27T16:49:00.000-06:00

My posts are getting shorter and shorter, day by day!

Currently, my wishes include:

A happy dawn of 4th March
An amazing vacation to Florida
300$ for Coldplay Concert
The weather remains just how it is now, for the rest of winter
Time to learn new recipes [This wish intensifies every time, I talk to Thanu]
To learn how to relax. As in completely. A state where your mind is completely devoid of clutter. Tried meditating, but even then never experienced complete freedom from thoughts!

Promise broken

2006-01-25T22:29:00.000-06:00

Small post:
I break my resolve. Just yesterday I said I wont blog and today am here venting it out.
Work work and more work!
Paper due-End of this month
Another proposal due:15th feb
Seminar: 3rd March
Assignment due: Already over. Asked for an extension
Pathetic statistics class. Yuck! at 5:30-7:00.
Damn!
How I hate Maths and its clan.
To compound the problem. Ordered this book from amazon.com [Annotated instructors edition, so I can get to the answer by hook or by crook] and they said its out of stock!
Damn!
My prof was nice enough to let me borrow his book.
Went to his office.
He:"Dont worry you will be fine"
You look like a serious student!!

WHAT!

OK! that saves me!
Me:I would like to think so too. But, appearances are deceptive, Prof!
He: You must be hard working too..
OMG!!OK! What a misconception!
Me: I try!
Him: I have to yet meet an Indian student who ain't hardworking! You guys always make better than B+. How much did you make in Stats-1 last year?
Me:A
Him: See, dint I tell you?? I have high expectations from you!
Damn him! how expecations can kill:O

Hibernation!

2006-01-24T20:33:00.000-06:00

ROS is taking yet another break from blogging!

Yeh bechaari kaam ke boj ke maree..

Have to finish writing my manuscript which is long due!

Anyhow, guys shall miss ya all.

Until the, Shhhh..:)